Comic Critique Saturdays: Sex/love pistols.

Sex/love pistols

I’ve decided that I do an awful lot of webcomic reviews.  This week I’ll do a published Manga review.  What manga to better tear apart then one I’ve been tearing apart ALL ALONG!

As a warning triggery stuff below as well as spoilers

I may also be wrong on a few notes I make because it has been awhile since I read it and in general the story is confusing to begin with.

First Impression: I was looking for crappy manga, and I went on some manga site and looked up its most popular yaoi comic. Guess what came up? I was secretly hoping since it was the most popular out of quite a few yaois that maybe it was good. Nooooooooooooooooooooope. That was pretty much destroyed with a look at the art, and on page 3 the main character gets gang-molested in public.

Art: Shrink my head, enlarge my hands and call me kawaii! Its fucking awful. While it’s not archetypical manga it suffers from a lot of its faults, and is just uglier, in my opinion.

Let me say I understand a lot of fetish material like yaoi EMPHISES certain body parts for sex appeal I get that. Big hands, long torsos, and other tweaks can be appealing. I think where stylization hits the wall is when it breaks immersion. When you’re not sitting there looking for things to scrutinize the art but you turn and page and your first thought is, “WHAT the FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT BODY PART!?” Sex pistols is the type of comic that breaks my immersion ALL THE TIME. I think it gets better as it goes along, but honestly it doesn’t get THAT much better for the amount of pages between 1 and whatever its up to now.

What’s wrong with the anatomy? The head of the semes are preposterously tiny, every character has the same duck-bill lips, the hands are gangly knotty, and too big, the arms for supposed athletic/buff guys are too thin and in general they have no concept of muscular structure. I mean have you seen their attempts at abs?!

It’s got a serious same face problem. It’s incredibly hard to tell a lot of the characters apart and it causes a LOT of confusion, but I stopped trying to make sense of it a long time ago.


The animals really aren’t that good either. I mean Norio’s cat/monkey hybrid was kinda neat looking but artist doesn’t really have a concept of animal anatomy either.

Story:

It revolves around a lot of stupid couples all of them abusive to borderline abusive.

Chimpy/Leopard

The main couple is supremely unappealing.

At first you sympathize with Monkey’s problems. He breaks his leg, he’s being opened up to a world full of molestation that nobody explained to him, he gets kidnapped, raped and stalked by this guy and somehow he ends up gay for him despite how hard he protests. His to-be boyfriend ends up having a girlfriend and is totally unconcerned with Monkey’s feelings on being a “side-dish” and used for babies/sex. He tries really hard to learn about the world around him and struggles with it.

He starts by sticking up for himself against his leopard rapist but ends up falling in love with him cause he smells great. No I am not kidding. He going through all sorts of sacrifices for him. He meets his psycho family he goes through intensive training, and all for his boyfriend to never admit he gives a shit about him other then for him to give him a baby and gtfo. He has a mental breakdown about how leopard boy doesn’t love him. Yet he gives up about trying to resist him he just says as soon as he has his mpreg baby he’s getting out of there. At the end of that arc leopard smepard doesn’t even imply that he likes him at all, he just hugs him as he’s weeping his balls off and somehow that’s proof that he loves him after all golly gee. He also attempts to save his boyfriend from his own evil step-mother that drugs and tries to force her step-son into having sex with a woman? I don’t even remember what he did to save him but still leopard hardly expresses an iota of emotion toward him even then.

Most recently I believe leopard proposed to get married to monkey and monkey is struggling with that and it seems general consensus that it is OOC for leopard and the characters in the story are whispering that something happened to leopard to change him into making this decision. Oh boy I’m so fucking invested I just may pee myself.

It’s practically a FARCE of yaoi couples. The seme is utterly despicable and never even implies he’s got the emotional capacity of a toad, while the uke is shit on 24/7 and is a weeping mess of a human being who’s character arc consists of him giving up about caring for himself.

Snake/Dog

Way too long, makes no sense, and wasted potential.

The story goes as follows. The class president falls for this swimmer athlete guy who’s leopard’s half brother and a snake or crocodile I guess? Athlete is a womanizer who hates men for no discernible reason yet tries to be friends with prez also for no discernible reason. Athlete gets “sick” every once in awhile because he’s cold blooded and needs lots of heat. So his brother came up with this idea of having him cuddle with prez to raise his body temperature. Hell he’s a reptile right? Just get him a heating rock! There are a lot of reptile furries out there somebody must have invented SOMETHING to help with this problem. For shit’s sake they’ve invented like 3 ways to get ass-pregnant yet no inventions for this? Okay okay fine fine I’ll buy that, but what’s wrong with a portable heater, heating blanket, sunning lamp, or any other artificial heating source? Hell he always seems to have some kind of girlfriend, wouldn’t he be more okay with that!?

I really even shouldn’t be mad at that cause the next part is what REALLY makes no sense. Apparently during these warm-up cuddles athlete suddenly decides to have sex with prez, and has selective amnesia for it. So he stomps around being jealous and possessive cause he thinks prez is in a sexual relationship with a man, when the man is really him. He has this huge internal struggle with his man-hating and with starting a relationship with a ~normal~ human. Eventually he mans up (more out of a petty sense of jealousy then legitimate feelings) and they start a relationship. Only to find that normal human is actually a super rare breed of dog furry. It’s okay to have a relationship with a human if it turns out they aren’t really a human anyway hurrr duhhhr. That’s something that could have been told in like 50 pages but it takes near 200 and it chock full of bullshit whining. Yeah no thanks!

Snake shows up in other arcs but he acts COMPLETELY different in this one. In the other arcs he’s mostly carefree, goofy, and goes with the flow. In this one he’s seems bitter, constantly annoyed and rebellious. Character consistency trolololololol

Bear/Bear

One of THE WORSE in my opinion.

The nice-guy bear who tried to help chimpy at the beginning stars in this. Since he’s nice though he couldn’t possible top. His grandmother and brick-chinned mother say that he must carry on their family line and have kids.

He’s still in high school, but sure that’s a thing a lot of traditional families clamor for okay. Yet he wants HIM to carry the kid. Ummmm you two are still women right, you know biologically made for that? It gets even better.

They go on and on and on about maintaining their family’s genetic purity but  get a strange man to fly over from America to impregnate him, pay him a ridiculous amount of money for ~the honor~ and tell beary that they planned this all in advance and he has no say in it. How fucked up is that!? For one it preaches some kind of weird bullshit eugenics of having the ~perfect genes~ and not dirtying the gene pool with non-bear or even non-great-bear blood. Second can you imagine if he was a woman in that situation? That fucking parallels the fucked up bullshit of child marriages in some 3rd world countries and that’s NOT COOL. On top of that the “man” is not expected to help raise the child at all, and he’s not going to jerk off into a test tube he’s going to personally fly there to fuck him in the ass.

UGH UGH UGH UGH SO CREEPY AND GROSS AND BULLSHIT BACKWARDS GENDER PREACHING!

Beary is understandably NOT COOL WITH THIS. He tries to get out of it by having his pal chimpy claim to be his lover and go with him to meet the guy so they can cancel. When he gets there he tries to explain this really calmly but ends with rape for pay smacking around chimpy and beary in front of all sorts of people. He then uses the most disgusting line I’ve ever heard uttered in yaoi. Along the lines of, “I’m going to fill you with so much of my cum your pregnancy buttworm is going to drown.”

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

So then rape for pay rapes beary for pretty much a solid 2 days straight. Then he just goes, “Man I guess raping you was shitty” and for some reason beary immediately forgives him and they start having consensual sex. Another 2 days straight of sex or so and Beary starts to think, “Oh the garden at my school hasn’t been tended I need to do that!” So of course BIG bear let’s him go after monopolizing his time with repeated rape and bullshit apologies for 4 days to care for his garden that he loves so much

HAHA JUST KIDDING!

Big bear throws a petty jealous fit about him going back to his other lover and forgetting about him. Umm hello, you were paid to fuck and GTFO why do you give a shit what else he does with his life…even though he’s not going back to his lover ANYWAY! So big bear stomps over to his school intent on beating the fuck out of chimpy for trying to TAKE HIS MAN. There he has a big fight with leopard and boohoo. Beary then rushes to see him, “I was so wrong for wanting a life of my own! I love you big bear!”

Then it’s revealed that big bear was infatuated with little bear because awhile ago at some bullshit ALL BEAR gathering little bear was nice to him when they were kids. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah okay. Paging Okange no kai’s fucking preposterous writing please?  Despite being so in love with him for so long, he manages to mistake him for chimpy at the begining? Ugh whatever!

In the end they become boyfriend and boyfriend and little bear doesn’t even get pregnant despite that being the fucking point of all this bullshit.

Snake/Mongoose

This one I didn’t understand much at all either. Maybe I should re-read it but honestly I hold no hope that it will make the story make more sense.

So there’s this doctor who’s a mongoose, and this regular little uke guy who’s a snake. There’s a lot of bullshit about how their species are mortal enemies blah blah blah, but the two of them have had a friends with benefits relationship for a long ass time. Their relationship is riff with spite and volatile anger for no real apparent reason other then LOL MONGOOSE/SNAKE HATE HATE HATE! There’s also these weird metaphors they use like, “I will eat you up emotionally if I don’t hold back.” Though I suppose I’m glad they take the animal relationships into account for once. Snake’s twin brother also wants to get with mongoose and mongoose fucks him too I guess? Shit he might not be his twin brother but I honestly could not tell them apart so I’m just going to call him his twin.

Later on 1st snake twin gets butt pregnant with mongoose’s kid and there’s some drama about, “OH NO WILL HE RAISE THE KID TOO!?” and he’s actually a bit of a dick about it which is fucking terrible “BUT OH COURSE! LET’S RAISE THESE BUTT-KIDS TOGETHER!” The REASON he got butt pregnant was because he used a special condom that had a buttworm egg on the end? I don’t remember if he was TRICKED into using that condom or used it on purpose in order to get his mongoose man to stay with him FOREVER which is hugely fucked up either way. Oh I almost forgot! It was a buttworm CONDOM! You know one of condom’s main functions is to prevent pregnancy right? FUCKING SIGH!

Lastly there’s a big reveal at the end that, “My goodness it wasn’t just the buttworm condom, it looks as if somebody was cultivating a long-term extra special buttworm in your ass!” God who gives a fuck. In the end they have like 5 kids and mongoose does more ~adorable~ committing to his snake wife too? Whatever!

Leopards two daddies

So leopard guy has two daddies! Apparently one was a serious architect guy and the other was a doofy artist guy. It’s a bit refreshing because doofy artist guy has body hair and later on architect guy has a mustache. They work/study at the same university and artist guy has this huge boner for wanting to draw Mr. Architect. Mr. Architect feels weird about this but kinda lets him to a degree? Since artist is in gay denial and a ho’ architect doesn’t really want to hang with him anymore so he breaks it off. Yet when Mr. Artitech is propositioned by a random guy it sends our painter boy into a jealous frenzy. He decides that he’s just got to have him so he commits to him hooray. It’s pretty much a shorter rehash of Snake/Dog’s story. Also artist boy bones a gal and she has snake baby and that’s why the two of them are half brothers. Hoor-fucking-ray!

Two mommies

Hey there’s a lesbian couple in here! SAY IT ISN’T SO! Don’t cry my darlings, it’s still shoddily written filled with abusive and the theme is jealousy. So leopard’s step mom and snake’s real mom (I think? Bleh what a mess.) By the way it’s the same psycho mom that tried to drug leopard into fucking a woman.

So psycho mom knows this gal from school. The gal from school is shy or something. I don’t even know what happens but psycho mom throws her out of a 3 story building and nearly kills her.


But it’s okay cause while her legs are broken she carries her around. Yet while she does so she acts like a total bitch to her. Man it sucks I have to be nice to you after arbitrarily attempting to kill you.

It’s pretty out of the blue how they end up as lovers. It just kinda goes, “I like the feeling of your boobs against your back when I carry you.” BAM RELATIONSHIP!

Bat/Bird

Fucking hell this one is gut-renchly horrendous too! GODDDDDDDDDDD WHY!!! Okay okay I can do this. Keep breathing faps!

So this story centers around the uke as per usual. The uke is a little bat guy who has this nice socialite boyfriend. As a bat he hides his furry side cause people are major league racist against bats for no explained reason. Awhile ago for some reason he started rubbing a SALVE into his ass to make his ass a vagina. Yet he stopped while he was applying it so his ass isn’t a FULL vagina that can have babies. The poor little guy works two jobs (despite his richie rich boyfrined) and seems to be pushed around a lot but he doesn’t let it get to him. I’m not going to lie I thought he might be the first solid character in this batch.

After another double shift he spies a wounded bird in the middle of his living room. How it got injured or ended up in his room is never explained. He tries to help the bird but is exhausted so he goes to bed after he does his best to patch it up and make it comfy. When he wakes up he finds its this super smexy guy he saw on a yacht party he went with his wealthy boyfriend.

Yo thanks for helping me, let’s fuck,”

I shouldn’t cause of my boyfriend but because you’re a ~heavy seed~ I am literally powerless to resist,”

So they have a bunch of sex. Golly didn’t see that coming! It’s the only time in the manga I can believe somebody is lusting after another, yet it feels a little creepy in the fact that it also feels as if he’s brainwashed into having sex with him cause he states outright several times how he wish he could deny him but physically CAN’T!

It is revealed that the super sexy birdy is an Arab prince who is the last bird furry in existence. Yet Arab prince’s skin tone is perfect white and he has blonde hair? No no I’m serious. I wish I could make up shit this shitty. It’s unfortunate I still have brain cells left or else I could come up with this stuff too.

So sexy birdy confesses that he’s had all sorts of kids in an effort to try to further the bird furry line, yet they always come out like the “mother” instead of him. So he thought if he boned another critter that could fly maybe he could finally have a bird butt-baby. You see the bird is so GREAT at sex he turns his half vagina into a full vagina.

You might want to take the time to clean your brains/vomit off the computer screen. No no, I’ll wait.

So batty gets his anus stuffed with a baby that he doesn’t want, yet it was Birdy’s plan all along. When he reveals that batty’s anal womb is carrying his offspring he drugs him, kidnaps him, and takes him back to the middle east. Yep yep yep yep yep.

When he gets there birdy goes on and on about how happy he is to be having ANOTHER child (we never seen any of his other children he claims to have) and about how much he loves batty but batty is not allowed to leave the room.

Pro-Tip: If you refuse to give your spouse basic freedom that’s not love.

Batty is okay with this cause Birdy loves him. Though Batty eventually finds out that all of Birdy’s ACTUALLY ALMOST Arab looking relatives want him for their own or inexplicably want to kill him. OH and Birdy is going to be marrying another androgynous girl-boy man. When confronted about how he’s marrying the arab girl-boy man. Birdy explains it’s okay he can marry him too since polygomy is awight down there, and that he doesn’t understand his culture cause he has to marry that girl-boy man cause he’s the perfect “wife.” Yeah umm how about YOU learn about Arab culture cause all of this bullshit flies in its fucking face you god damn moron.

Hey birdy are you the crowned prince of United fuckerdom of ASSHOLE-rabia god you’re a such a fucking prick.

So Birdy’s relatives manage to kidnap Batty….again and just toss him in the middle of the desert instead of you know just actually killing him. Birdy goes through this dramatic gun fight confrontation blah blah. The he goes off to fly into the desert to save Batty with the dramatic dialog of, “TO TURN INTO AN EAGLE ALL I GOTS TO DO IS THINK ABOUT DYING LA DE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Even though he looked like a regular songbird when they first found him. CONSISTENCY FOR EVERYONE!

So Birdy saves Batty by force feeding him his own blood. Oh yum! Birdy then has him taken off in a helicopter going, “I’m taking you back to Japan and I can never see you again cause it’s too dangerous. Good luck being a single parent lol bye now!” Yeah did you do this to the mothers of ALL your children?

So Batty goes home and has to raise his enormous misshaped child who ended up a bat anyway. But loo and behold, Birdy comes back with his girl-boy wife.

I don’t care the baby ain’t a bird, be my second wife!”

Umm I’m not cool with this!”

As his 1st girl-boy wife I admire how you nearly died cause of how big a douche he is. So I’m okay with you being the 2nd girl-boy wife.”

Really?! OH LET’S BE A WHOLE BIG FUCKED UP FAMILY! GROUP HUG!”

Yeah nothing the father of his own child that he was so crazy in love with convinced him to get married to him. But the girl-boy wife he’s jealous of (for good reason) giving the nod of approval makes him decide to do it.

Christ on cock! Your semes/men fly into psychotic rages when the ukes/women look at other men, but if the uke/woman is upset that the seme/man abandons him and their child and has 80 kids and 12 wives he’s an uppity bitch? GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! I actually liked batty at the beginning of the story but he ends up with the worst situations which are not his fault at all and his character arc is going from self-assured to fucking spineless.

If it was physically possible to beat the cock off a story concept, this would be first on my list of fictional shit to maim!

Aquaman and his “trainer”

This one is at least a bit different from the rest. This dude has to go teach this “mermaid furry” how to act like a real boy. Mermaids are some trippy people that mimic human bodies but are in fact just water….I think? Since he’s a mermaid furry normal people can’t see him at all. So yeah this mermaid we’ll call aqua boy lives in this mansion, even though other people live there too but they don’t know about him? Aqua boy just runs…swims…floats around playing pranks on the guy who is there to make him behave like a normal human. There is some background that aquaman is a retrograde and his dad is super mean I think.

At some point Aquaman touches his trainer and becomes obsessed with hands and the sense of touch. So he does these weird pseudo delusional molestations of his trainer.

Aquaman’s character design is interesting. Kind of woobly and other-wordly. So at least this arc is showing some promise.

Conclusion:

This manga is a disaster and a blight on the yaoi genre. The art is not even medicore, the character designs are so similar the story is confusing through how they all look like twins with different hair styles that come in short or tall varieties. The semes are all emotional voids and unashamed assholes. The ukes either start off with a sense of self-worth or not but they all end up dependent gut-less sacks of jelly from the non-stop shitting their borderline to full blown abusive semes give them. The stories are mostly offensive repetitions of “Sudden psychotic jealous possessive rage make the seme realize they’re in love with the uke.” It’s crawling with inconsistencies, there’s a lot of dumbass predictable deus ex machina, it’s hard to make sense of, and it’s really really not funny. I’ve seen people defend this by going, “Well it’s just harmless cracky junk.” Which is a fair point to make. But to me the crack has AT LEAST got to be funny but all the crack in this story is, “omg why haven’t you slept with him?” or “omg did you sleep with him!?” or “omg I just caught you trying to sleep with him!” Even sex in the city has more depth then that! The stories are terrible the characters atrociously unlikable and the art passable at best with no real improvement in any of it.

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16 Responses to Comic Critique Saturdays: Sex/love pistols.

  1. Thera says:

    Yeah, I tried reading through this series but I honestly didn’t get past the first two chapters because of the horrid art. When I did get further, I lost interest because of the boring story.

    There’s one, teensy good thing about this series: Women can be genetic material donors. Aka dads.

    Usually with mpreg the world exists of men who can be genetic material donors and become pregnant, while women only can become pregnant.
    However, here women are also allowed to be genetic material donors which is surprisingly feminist of the series.

    That’s its only little light point though. For the rest of it I hope it gets lost in the sands of time.

    • The females as dad bit is interesting and something not normally done in MPREG stories! So you’re right that was a neat tid-bit. My interest was perked by this and the lesbian storyline. Yet that went tits up fast with THROW MY GIRL CRUSH OUT OF BUILDING AND THROUGH SOME MIRACLE SHE DIDN’T DIE WHAT A BUMMER!

  2. randonimity says:

    When you mentioned there were lesbians in it, I admit it got me curious. But you weren’t kidding on how it has the same theme of “physical and emotional abuse is sexy and is twu wuv even though other people IN THE MANGA ITSELF POINT OUT the possibility there is something very very wrong about the dynamic” and it just saddens the fuck out of me.

  3. cc says:

    Good god I don’t want to believe there is a long-running published work with this at the base, and yet I know that it is probably very true.

    And maybe I’ve “looked” or heard from the wrong circles but this one is “least” mentioned of the popular series, or at least it feels like it, which is WEIRD given it tries to have more world gimmicks than the others. (Others being Okane ga Nai, Junjou Romantica, Gravitation and Ai no Kusabi)

  4. fang says:

    I’m saddened such a horrible series exists and seems to be long-running. But I was thrown off a bit by your use of the word “tranny”. It’s actually pretty transphobic, so if you could retract that.

  5. Mawichan says:

    I tried to read it and honestly, I was disgusted by it. By everything of it.
    I would say more stuff, but this review just sums it up perfectly

  6. Shion Amamiya says:

    Seriously habe you ever considered there are people WHO are interested in this series as it is a little more abnormal and fantasy? I felt kinda offended here even though it’s just your own opinion. You could have tried to male it lese offending to the Fes who are actually interested in the series. The series does habe its weak points and I won’t deny that Bit the author did a good Job on the emotional stuff. I accidently came across this and I apologize it I may have offended you.

    • It’s fine you haven’t offended me. I can’t imagine somebody liking the series who wasn’t into the abnormal.

      When I rant, I frequently write in an offensive way, that’s kinda of my schtick. You are on a site called “Rape is Kawaii” afterall.

      I personally don’t think the author did a good job on the emotional moments either. For one to get invested in an emotional moment, you have to be invested in the characters and their relationships. The semes are all douchebags, the ukes have no agency, and the relationships are usually totally forced and mostly based on “smelling good.” The moments are usually cliche, poorly written, or make no sense to boot.

      Let me give you a few examples:

      1.) In the Croc/Wolf arc another character shows up toward the end wanting Wolf’s affection. If I remember correctly we had not seen that guy before. We don’t know his true intentions, his relationship to wolf boy or even his name. Yet we’re supposed to be tense that Wolfy is going to pick him over croc?
      It does not suspend your belief and is incredibly crappy writing.

      2.) In the Eagle/Bat arc. Eagle guy finishes a gun encounter and is going to save his “wife” from dehydration. He says before a dramatic transformation, “ALL I NEED TO DO TO TURN INTO AN EAGLE IS TO THINK ABOUT DYING!”
      ….huh?

      There are more examples but I’ll leave it at that. I must confess I’m glad I get to debate with a fan of Love Pistols for once. I usually just get hate for my hetalia rant.

  7. Rita says:

    The only thing I like about this ass-backwards manga is Nice Bear’s mom. You can actually see what animal she is supposed to be, in contrast to everyone else who just look like generic manga humans, and I think the art would have been much better if everyone was drawn that way.

    The story on the other hand.. unsalvageble.

    • …You’re right on a character design level. Otherwise she’s a despicable human being.

      • Rita says:

        Yes, I meant her character design :) sorry for the confusion.

        To be honest, I can’t get path 10 or so pages in the unedited manga, so I’ve only read the riffed parts with her. So I might not have picked up on the.. less fortunate aspects of her character.
        I think I’ll keep it that way.

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  9. detox now says:

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    It’s just so refreshing to discover good content such as this with all the unnecessary content that’s out there. I mean, you can definitely tell that alot of time and patience with into this. Do you work with content writers or do you write your own material?

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