Update for 4/19/13!

All SFW! Prostitutes and Star Rapists!

Let’s Hateo Kaito Rapeo!

Pure heartless Rape Dance

Star Rapist

Prostitutes r’ Us

This entry was posted in Let's Hateo Kaito Rapeo, Prostitutes R Us, Pure Heartless Rape Dance, Star Rapist. Bookmark the permalink.

69 Responses to Update for 4/19/13!

  1. cc says:

    The whole incest-but-not-incest thing in TH drives me up a wall.

    Rory has a picture of her, looks ~favorably~ at it, masturbates to her because fuck all.

    He hears she’s being hired, runs like a dimwit to say ~who knows what because LULZ SCENE CHANGE~

    He throws a tantrum when she’s being flirt with with AxisAxelwhatever

    Then… THEN we FINALLY get a scene where these two idiots can interact and HE’S PRACTICALLY SHITTING HIS PANTS IN FEAR.

    What the FUCK is their relationship?! Is she abusive and he was temporarily stockholm’d to her until he fell in TRUWUBS with Reed? Is she just overly competitive? Is she somehow a mind-reader and fucking with his teeny uke brain because she somehow knows he’s got incesty thoughts about to her?

    Why the fuck are either of them in the whorehouse? Where are the locks on the doors?! BS behavior like this does not grow overnight, what the fuck is going on.

    TH authors are you just throwing fucking darts at the drama board or something?

    In lighter news it’s good to see that malformed butts run in the family. At least that’s consistent in this universe.

    • Yeah like I have no idea what they’re doing and not in a, “OH THIS COULD GO ANY DIRECTION!” but in a “They don’t know what they’re doing.”

      Butts the universal constant.

    • wanda says:

      I think their story pretty much goes like this:
      1) They watch lots of porn
      2) They see some plots they like
      3) They decide to do those plots, even if they are a contradiction to what’s already going on
      4) If their characters cannot fulfill these plots, ADD ANOTHER CHARACTER
      5)???????
      6) MASTURBATE!

      yup.

      • cc says:

        Holy crap, #4 makes EVERYTHING MAKE SENSE. How did I not realize this sooner!?

        • RC says:

          I think their inability to plot says more about the lack of taste in their porn and their writing skills then anything else.

          There *are* quality porns out there, they are not on the main stream of things and you actually have to know what you are looking at/for. Not saying my porn is any better- but at least I pick and choose what I masturbate to instead of going “it has DICKS! SO HOT!”

          But yeah- #4 all the way.

          Teas House lost it’s masturbation material appeal at book 2. 1 I could close my eyes and get off with, two not so much and anything after 3 has killed my sex drive. Same with Starfighter actually.

          • Wanda says:

            Oh, I have found some real sexy gems out there on the world wide web, and they are all that more amazing because they’re rare. It turns out there are people who can write BDSM or power play or even yaoi “tropes” and make it sexy, because it’s within the boundaries of consent and the characters truly care about one another and have talked about things beforehand. It’s totally possible to read tons of porn and still be able to write a decent plot. But I hate it when people think that the “sexiness” of their stories give them an excuse to write shitty stories. Some people can write porn and still operate with their brain. Many others only write with their sex drive, which usually ends up being drivel, because our genitals are shitty writers.

            I think once you read good porn, it makes it really hard to go back to all the shitty stuff. So after reading good sexy webcomics, Teahouse just felt like wading through manure.

  2. Miss Pororoca says:

    I never felt interested in the incest theme until Reed showed us how boring is him as a partner for women or men or underage or young innocent men starting to know life. Now I prefer to ship Rory with someone who, in a strange way, is his “equal”… But Remi seems to be made only for the purpose to ship more the ReedxRory. I hate when authors can’t be capable of make a character but only a plot device with a name. And I like more the seductive creepy way in which Remi treats Rory, than the eternal same-face-he-is-rich-and-handsome-so-he-doesn’t-need-more-personality of Reed-chan.

    http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=4m8go&s=6

    • Seriously! The authors went on and on about how into dicks Reed is. Therefore nullifying Remi seducing Reed away from Rory. Though if she pretends to be him…MY GOD Rory is always hiding his chest he’s making it easier for Remy to pull it off! Also if he’s all about wieners why can’t we see him crack a smile when faced with his greatest sexual fantasies?

      UGH!

      Any bonus sexual dalliances these characters have are JUST to reenforce the OTP, which is totes good writing! Glider will be demonized soon, hell I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s demonized on his next visit for being drunk and covered in entrails.

      Also thanks for the new riff! I forgot to post up last week’s and these two go together nice.

      • Wanda says:

        You know what else is poor planning? A love triangle in which all three characters have very similar sounding names. That’s one writing rule you should never break. :/

        • Shan says:

          But how else will they have retarded misunderstandings?

          … Oh god, that’s going to happen, isn’t it?

          Everytime TH gets posted my chest hurts… I don’t know what it is.

        • RC says:

          Now, to be be fair Game of Thrones does that as well but there is an actual REASON why all the names in Game of Thrones sound similar/are similar.

          And TH writers are Game of Thrones fans. -_- But I think they only watch the show. I don’t know- you would THINK that if they surround themselves with decent writing it would rub off.

          • Miss Pororoca says:

            I don’t know why the TH authors don’t make an easy funny fanservice plot and keep making money with the sex printed versions. Probably it could be more easy to them draw a funny relief story and 4komas instead of pretending to have a serious plot. I like, for example, the lonely page about chibi Sacha.
            And if they really love GoT… and they don’t read the books… Ah, I don’t wanna know! (Well, as if Martin were Marcel Proust, LOL).

          • Wanda says:

            Maybe that’s why they think they can get away with a bajillion characters? Except GoT has decided to actually give personalities to those characters, make them unique.

            To be honest though, I don’t even remember most of the names from Game of Thrones. It’s always “the dragon lady” and “Peter Dinklage” and “that stupid teenage king everyone fucking hates”. XD

          • Haha I have the same problem. I recognize the face and just know them in my head as, “Badass girl pretending to be boy.”

          • TH writers like to announce being fans of game of thrones but mentioning how much they dig an incest couple, YEAH OKAY!

  3. Anonymous says:

    I wonder why Rory was hired as a prostitute if he could be a servant like Remy. Oh, I forgot! Females can’t be prostitutes in yaoi- uuughhh… Yeah, and Fuckyeahsexpositivity said it was a good comic and nonofensive… HOW?!!!! There’s rape literally on FIRST PAGES of this comic, physical and psychological violence in each chapter and each woman character is ‘That-bad-woman-in-yaoi-you-should-hate’ or a stereotype. Now I feel werid, that I didn’t came up earlier, that CC and E will pair Argent with Clarett- Argent is a walking stereotype- stylized to look and act like a man (bonus points: she hasn’t got any emotions just like Reed and Rhys!) (I’m almost sure, that when CC and E talks about Claret and Argent they use words like ‘seme’ and ‘uke’- I don’t expect more from someone like them |D)

    Oh and Remy is the bad yaoi woman! Cause good women don’t exsist in this comic.

    • Also I think we’ve only seen one servant who is a man cause men are for getting their wangs out for us.

      I’m pretty sure fuckyeahsexpositivity has recanted their statment on Teahouse after someone pointed it out.

      Oh it’s been confirmed that Argent and Claret are a couple. You’re welcome!

      • Wanda says:

        Ugh, you gotta be frickin’ kidding me. These two are ruining LESBIANS now? Jesus. And you thought some things were sacred . . .

      • Anonymous says:

        Teahouse is never ever going to understand that you can’t really have “a couple” when only one of them has personhood autonomy and their entire life is just pretending to be what other people want or else

        why can’t they understand this it’s not hard :( like if this were about actual sex workers that’d be one thing but this is pretty explicitly owning people

  4. Anonymous says:

    I just came back from Teahose’s comments section. *facepalm* No, I won’t tell you anything you didn’t guess:
    “POOR RORRRRY!”
    “noooo, he run away from that bitch and she wantts to ruin his life!”
    “I can’t wait to see her approach Reed just to be slapped in the face by him!”
    “LOOOOL she can’t replace Rory!”

    Of course she can’t. She’s a female in yaoi manga- her only role is to make yaoi fangirls pissed off. Oh, and noone would thought, that she wanted to take his place in Teahouse. That’s a shocking plot twist!

    I’m sorry, but I’m really REALLY tired about yaoi female cliches. Can’t women make better female characters?

    • Wanda says:

      I feel like commenting on every single one of those with a link to what feminism is. Who knows. Those girls might learn something for once.

      I also wondered why he’s a prostitute and she’s not. She says she wants to take his room. The fastest way to do that? Uh, JOIN THE BROTHEL. Seriously. I love how the authors set up all this DRAMA when it could all be solved by people talking for more than two pages. Rory could be all “Hey, maybe you should work with me” and she’d be all “Sure, that sounds good. All your customers are strangely attractive!” and he’d be like, “Cool” and then IT WOULD BE THE MOST BORING COMIC EVER, because of course manufactured drama makes for really, really boring reading.

      • cc says:

        Silly Wanda, didn’t you know? REALITY IS BORING AS SHIT, that’s why we need ~shallow escapist fantasy~

        • Wanda says:

          I’ve never understood the point of shallow escpaism. A lot of people tell me that super attractive characters are fine because it’s ~*~ESCAPISM~*~ but I feel exactly the opposite. I am bombarded with sexy people in the media, in advertising, in pretty much every magazine that greets me when I’m standing in line to buy toilet paper. And with those beautiful people comes that fear that you’re not good enough, sexy enough, that you aren’t a lovable person because you don’t have 6 pack abs or perfect perky double D boobs.

          To me, escapism is reading about characters who are funny and awesome and interesting and they DON’T HAVE TO BE SEXY to be that. And they find significant others who love them for being just them. And then when you finish a book like that, you come away feeling . . . good about yourself. Like, you are worth something. Like there are funny interesting people out there who will love you even if you aren’t super sexy or super skinny.

          I just don’t buy the “escapism” shit. It’s like reading a beauty magazine: you come away from it feeling ugly.

          • Anonymous says:

            I love this comment. Exactly. Personally, I don’t even find anything sexy unless the characters have been developed first and the scenes are built up slowly. The way Teahouse does ‘sexy’ is like if you opened your web browser and some random dicks just appeared.

          • I totally agree!
            I can understand really attractive characters when it comes to like porn no plot situations.

            When a super attractive, super wealthy person with a lot of emotional support starts whining, I roll my eyes at what an emo little turd they are.

            To create a story you really get invested in, I think characters that aren’t hyper attractive help immensely. To me (despite being super sexy myself) I identify with characters that are overweight or missing teeth, or have a big nose, or are short, so on and so forth cause it makes them more human. Nobody is flawless, so to add these “supposed” flaws to these characters makes it easy for you to connect to them.

          • Wanda says:

            Faps, I’ve always imagined you looked like this. DON’T TELL ME OTHERWISE.

          • Close but a bit more like this.

          • Wanda says:

            YESSSSSSSS. This is a Faps I can be proud of.

      • Yeah yaoi fans need a fist full of feminism.

        My speculation on why she isn’t a prostitute is because they’re ~super exclusive~ and she’s ~not good enough~ most likely cause of that ~vagina.~ Why was Rory good enough? Cause they checked his ass and it looked as if a dick wasn’t in there in the recent past?

        Can you imagine the dough they’d rake in from deviants wanted to see twin on twin? Oh but they couldn’t cause Reed’s cock would explode if his prostitute dare touch another.

        • Wanda says:

          It’s easy to tell if a guy is an ass virgin. Put your ear to his butthole and if you hear a Hallelujah chorus, he’s a certified virgin.

          Wait, maybe that’s sea shells and the sea . . .

  5. Anonymous says:

    Usami- sensei, you got a face- hugger there. can you drive with that thing on your face? the steering wheel seems to have one too. and why is tiny Misaki riding on his lap in the top panel? (or does he look tiny because he’s further away from the ‘camera’?)

    • I think they just did a shitty job of making it look like he’s in the passenger seat. I also hardly notice all the face huggers anymore since apparently in this universe they live side by side with humans peacefully.

  6. Anonymous says:

    fraternal twins can look alike too you know! the youngest daughter in old American sitcom Full House was played by a pair of fraternal twins for eight years and I never noticed differences.
    …but yeah, I guess it’s bad when one prefers the female villains to the boys in a BL comic ^^; I still read Teahouse, but I’m glad you’re helping fans (if not the creators unfortunately) recognize that there are problematic elements. needless to say, the propagation of rape culture and misogyny would be the big ones, but I also find it baffling that the most boring character has not one, not two, but three people interested in him.

    • Oh no of course fraternal twins can look like! I just get the bad feeling that they’ve watched too much anime and assume all twins must be identical, and it’s totally possible for twins of different genders to have the same DNA. I could be wrong, they may be aware and just went with a very similar looking fraternal twin thing.

      Haha it is a bad sign when you like the antagonists more than the protagonists. ….but I understand…especially with these male characters. Yeah Atros is incredibly boring and one of the douchiest to boot…like what is his appeal? Money maybe?

      Thank you! I always love to hear that even fans of the comics I poke fun at, can find enjoyment in what I do. One should be aware of the problematic aspects of yaoi! They’re everywhere and seemingly ignored.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Guys! Guys! There is some massive shitstorm about identical twins going on in the Teahouse comments section! Fun to read XD

  8. Elaine says:

    I have a feeling women didn’t use thongs during the Victorian era.

  9. Wanda says:

    In true Teahouse fashion, a character shows up for about two pages before vanishing once they’ve said about three sentences. Cuz guiiiiz, these ladies totes know how to do good characterization, yo. This is how you do it!

    I swear, the authors have some form of ADD. They cannot concentrate on one fucking scene longer than it takes to make some stupid dick joke or whatever. Before they add ANOTHER character, why not actually explore the ones they have? Ugh, it just pisses me off so bad. Who the fuck shows up in her brother’s room in the middle of the night to make one threat and then flounce away? Couldn’t she just, like, whisper it to him in the hall or something? Like, jesus, if this woman woke me up at three in the goddamn morning to whisper what amounts to “lol, i’m evil”, I’d punch her in the face. Of course, the authors also want to punch her in the face (sorry, her TIT), but that’s for being female in a yaoi webcomic, not for being so goddamn annoying. Hell, I will punch every other character in the face for good measure. Then I’d go back to sleep and hope to wake up in a webcomic that was not this one.

    And all of this after I had a brief argument with a fan of Teahouse. She said “they are too good writers!” Fuck off. Seriously. I didn’t take four years of writing classes in college to be told by some fangirl about how they can write. No. They cannot.

    *pulls at face and curls in a fetal position*

    • cc says:

      Please serenade us further with tearing TH a new one when it comes to writing. :)

    • Tiamat says:

      Hey! I have untreated ADHD and I wrote better plots then the Teahouse authors when I was 14! REPENT FOR YOUR INSULTS RAWRRARARARARAARARRR >:[

      (joking rage aside, it’s true. And if a 14-year-old girl with a brain disorder that affects memory and attention could write more coherently than a neurotypical adult, you have some amazingly shitty writing. Because I did not write good back then.)

      (italicsitalicsitalics)

      • Wanda says:

        I figured someone would call me out on that. XD I did say “some form of ADD”. I think it’s diagnosed as YAOI ADD, which is when you can’t focus on anything unless an uke is crying with a penis up his butthole. IT’S TRUE I’M TOTALLY A DOCTOR. I got my degree online and everything!

      • RC says:

        Actually, I wouldn’t put it past TH to claim ADD or ADHD for their spaz. Which- as someone with ADD and a family of variety degrees of ADD and ADHD is BULL SHIT.

        People with ADD/ADHD do not use it as a crutch or as an excuse for their behaviors. They/we at most point it out so people will back the hell up and let us do our thing because harassing us about it is very distracting and undermines our productivity.

        Far as I’m considered, people who pull the “I have ADD/ADHD- give me a crutch!” card either don’t have it or- I don’t know, I have very VERY low opinions of people who do that. Some honestly have been brought up to treat it as a crutch, that’s all they know and it *is* hard to give up a crutch when you’ve been told all your life you need it (not that I would know from personal experience. *shifty eyes*).

        But if the kid in the Secret Garden can get his ass out of the chair he’s been told he needed to be in all his young life, an adult in reality can do the same if they actually wanted to do it.

        TH- does not want to let go of their crutches.

      • Haha exactly! Let’s not forget these women are in their 30s and behave and write like they’re in middle school.

    • Skarto says:

      ‘I didn’t take four years of writing classes in college to be told by some fangirl about how they can write.’

      *Swoon* TAKE ME, WANDA. TAKE ME NOW.

      (No, seriously, you can do whatever you want to me. I’m also doing writing at college!)

      • wanda says:

        I’ll be the uke to your seme ANY TIME, bebeh. *smolder*

        Hey, that’s great! Part of me is mad about the whole thing because I’m a big genre fiction person and all they teach you in college is literary fiction. Which is fine, but I got kind of sick of all the pretentiousness getting through around. Oh well. People have told me my strength is characterization. I have a characterization radar, and when people suck at it, that radar goes off. It’s much less fabulous than a gaydar. :(

        Either way, Teahouse does not know how to characterize shit. I mean, their characters could be SO COOL if a good writer was in charge of them. Fancy whores! Who could fuck that up?

        Teahouse. Teahouse could fuck that up. :(

    • They try really hard to do a show not tell but it ends nothing gets shown or told cause heaven forbid we do more than 3 pages in a row of a certain set of characters considering THERE ARE SO MANY OTHERS WE NEED TO GET TOO!!!

      If you ever wake up in that universe call me, I’ll fly there and help you punch everybody.

      It also pisses me off that without even thinking about what’s going on in the comic fans just babble about how good of writers they are. It boggles my mind when they talk about the feels going on in the comic. How are you invested in these shallow twats? Why would Pinky refusing to bang Pimpy be SO FUCKING HARD on your little emotions?

      CHRIST!

      • wanda says:

        I’m all for having lots of characters, since such a broad spectrum of personalities is usually guaranteed to capture more people’s interest. But damnit, those characters need actual developing. The authors are allergic to any depth or characterization whatsoever.

        BRING GUNS.

        You know, I’ve found that if you write within certain tropes, people fill in all the blanks themselves. Honestly, it doesn’t matter what the characters do or say– the trope is that it’s twu luv, so the readers will fall over themselves to declare it true. And then they’re all SO IMPRESSED with how it goes down, because of course it happened just as they imagined, and HOW AMAZING. But it’s the readers doing all the work, not the authors. The authors are just providing shells for the readers to insert personalities into, and the readers do it all without even realizing. It’s how it was with my story, the one I linked you to about the drug dealer and how my readers inserted all these traits into him that I never put there.

        Good authors make characters in which this is impossible. Their characters stand outside of tropes so that readers have no clue how anything will go down. And that’s how you know that the Teahouse characters are shallow and awful. Because all these things the fans claim is going down? NONE OF IT IS. There is no love, no one gives a shit about anyone else. It’s just not in the text, outside of what the authors force. But if the readers believe it, then it becomes true.

        • cc says:

          Oh swoon-

          I agree with this assessment so hard- I’ve seen it so hard too! I’ve actually seen it to the point where fans have written fan-fiction documents of WHOLE SETTINGS despite the author doing jack shit about actually exploring the setting in their work.

          God forbid if you ask legitimate questions about this setting when the fans already have their fanon securely in place and are tripping over themselves about how “well written” everything is because the creators can DO NO WRONG.

          • Wanda says:

            Everyone tends to add their own theories to how a story works, but it’s always worse with crappy things, because half of their extrapolations are clearly the work of their imagination, with no basis in the canon.

            Yeah, I love the whole “It’s fantasy!” defense when you show them flaws in logic. Look, it’s fantasy when you defy the rules of reality for a purpose. Say, your characters are super strong and super smart because they were genetically modified, blah blah blah PLOT! It’s NOT fantasy when you deny basic genetics because you want to get your rocks off to an identical boy twin and a girl twin, because they never talk about it and it has NO FUCKING PURPOSE. So no, it’s not fantasy. It’s authors ignoring reality for ZE HAWTNESS.

        • *slow clap*

          You’ve hit the nail on the head!

          In the context of Teahouse you can see that in action in pretty much any scene that Reed is in cause he does 0 emoting and very little communicating so the fans most obviously insert what they want there. You won’t have to look hard to see a, “Is it just me or does he look like he’s almost smiling?” No…no he’s not. It is a sign of shitty writing if fans are putting things in that aren’t there because you can’t be bothered to fill out a character.

          The fans frequently play off of one another to boot. We’ve all seen the gap known as the Fanon vs. Canon.

          • Wanda says:

            YES! People did this with my story too. “Is it just me, or is he starting to love her now . . .?” IT IS JUST YOU, DEAR READER. They will see what they want to see, despite author intent. Luckily I knew what I was doing and the seriousness of my subject matter, so I didn’t have them fucking fall in love, cuz that would have been hella gross.

            I think the fans should just get together and write their own webcomic based on Teahouse, and we can riff that, because I think it’s possible that it could be even WORSE than the canon. Or better. WHO KNOWS.

          • Anonymous says:

            I think that story whould actually be better- there are so many people who try to logically explain what is happening in this comic (I bet, that Emirian read those comments and get inspiration from them, cause they have no fucking clue what they are writting about). Fans can explain almost everything, analize it and the funniest part is…, that this comic really has no plot. At all. It’s just a bunch of typical yaoi stereotypes.

  10. Wanda says:

    Also, Starfighter makes me mad cuz that one doofy kid in the 7th panel looks like my character. Usually that doesn’t happen cuz I don’t write characters that lend themselves well to yaoi tropes, but GODDAMNIT. IT SUCKS.

    Anyway, I think today is a special day cuz we get all four of these at once. Shall I get us some confetti? Pink and sparkly in true yaoi fashion, of course.

  11. RC says:

    Cain has zero macho points or “he’s dangerous/unstable” points at this moment.

    Anyone care to point out the writing mistakes that have resulted in this?

    • I would think the big one here is his ridiculous expression and him saying, “Why wouldn’t you let me punch them!?”
      1.) If you were dangerous and unstable why are you attributing the fact you didn’t punch him to Abel, you’re implying you listen to him/reason.
      2.) He never seemed like an actual threat which is compounded by his durpy face.
      3.) This whole fucking scene was just a petty catty bitch fight. There was nothing really to be gained or lost here.
      4.) Fuck this comic.

  12. Anonymous says:

    “Another totally pointless scene without resolution.”

    Sometimes your comments are just gold.

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