Update for 4/26/13!

All SFW! Prostitutes, toot toot!

Let’s Hateo Kaito Rapeo!

Pure heartless Rape Dance

Prostitutes r’ Us

Sorry the prostitute riffs haven’t been that good.  Parts just bother me, and that’s the first riff idea I come up with.  Seriously why would a prince bother to shave his armpits!?

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44 Responses to Update for 4/26/13!

  1. cc says:

    It’s ok Faps, sometimse TH is just TOO INFURIATING.

    Also the coloring seems really OFF for some reason (more than usual) and I can’t put my finger on why. I feel like it’s the shading.

    Also there is something about Prince’s nipples in the last panel that just seem really freaking off.

    • karti says:

      I know :/ about the weird coloring. I don’t know what’s it about either but even when I read the non-riff version there was something that bothered me. Maybe it’s because the characters are very hard cel shade-y and the backgrounds are softer colored and the color of light/shading seems to be different between the environment and characters too?? I don’t know.

      Also they’re really into drawing and shading those folds on fabric, to the point the … sheet? blanket? doesn’t look like an actual material at this point.

  2. wanderingaddict says:

    the… the alt-text for Teahouse is “There sure is a lack of sex in this issue.”

    like… are… are you serious? you… you just drew a page where two guys are post-coitus!

    • wanderingaddict says:

      also, what the fuck how hard can your job be if you’re given 2 hours to sit and cry and talk about your feelings?? if I take a break for more than ten minutes I get a lecture from my boss about keeping up appearances! don’t know men, don’t know business, don’t know gays. what else do you not know, AngelPerez?

    • I just hope they’re being sarcastic.

  3. Shan says:

    I know these guys have plastic bin bags but those cigarettes are from the wrong era as well. Factory made cigarettes didn’t start having filters until the 1950s after they discovered the health problems. The development of science in the TH setting is all over the place.

    I can’t imagine Axis having good taste in cigarettes either.

    That’s the most important thing here.

    Secondly: what’s wrong with Rhys’ face in panel three? Is… Is he slowly turning into a woman?

    Thirdly: is it me or has Axis got a neck growth in the final panel?

    • Convince related things = Modern

      Statues and Scenery = Victorian

      Seems to be their motto.

      2nd: I can’t even be surprised by the femniziation of their male characters anymore.

      3rd: I think his right shoulder is just smaller than usual making his neck look big?

      • Shan says:

        That motto sums up the problem pretty well.

        I shouldn’t be surprised but I still am. It’s like knowing a car crash is about to happen but actually seeing it is still shocking.

        I didn’t notice his small shoulder, but that adds to it. The third wave on his tattoo (furtherest one back) is where it looks like he has a lump.

  4. miss pororoca says:

    “Testosterone is not hot”, you made me understand how deep I had assumed this prejudice that I wasn’t even questioning it. And only Gildar in TH is hairy (and my very favorite character because he is manly and more bara than yaoi) and probably 89% of yaoi character lacks corporal hair and… well, the ukes never drop balls, even after they reach puberty…
    So… how is this? I read a lot of books and comics and watch a lot of movies; but this… major surgery to the men, taking away biological features of masculinity… only happens in a certain “literary” genre. A type of woman is creating her ideal man, even using negative traits (violence, indiference) and no male features… But who and why is this new man? Who and what happened (or what not happened) to this type of woman?
    Oh, brother, where are your armpit hairs?


    • Wanda says:

      They can’t give their characters body hair cuz that would turn off their fanbase, which either is or acts like 15-year-old girls.

    • Kerli says:

      That’s true not only for yaoi, but for most anime/manga in fact. It brings a sarcastic smile on my face, when m&a fangirls say, that manga, unlike other modern media doesn’t popularise an image of perfect people. Of course it does, it simply generes different stereotypes. Girls are supposed to be cute, girly, always teenage looking. Boys are supposed to be delicate without any single body hair- it has probably a lot to do with asian beauty canons so yes, manga characters ARE stereotypes. I’m not saying, that asian beauty canon is bad- each place in the world has its own beauty canon, but it’s good to know, that your manga is not stereotypes-free.

      Also, shading in Teahose hurts my eyes. Pages have too much details, it’s like CC and E wanted to say ‘look! we can shade, whe know how to draw this complicated carpet on the floor!’. If they want to share their talents in creating complicated background, I will suggest them to start drawing still nature instead of a comic. Seriously, those backgrounds disturb the reader and you can’t focus on the scene….. Hey, what if they’re doing it on purpose? If the fans are distracted by pretty carpet, they won’t focus on the plot? Clever…

    • cc says:

      @about body hair
      Could just be me, but a lack of rending body hair can sometimes be a stylization or camera-focus choice. (Not sure what the proper word for it is, but some people, if the camera is far enough away and/or their hair is light enough, simply won’t be visible or not visible enough to be worth meaningful rendering)

      This doesn’t mean the TH people are right but there are ways to still draw masculine characters without having to draw their body hair, most western cartoons also skip drawing body hair as part of a style/timesaving thing unless that body hair really defines that character (typically facial hair).

      Again, simply saying this because I don’t think always adding body hair will create for a better character design, case in point is that they they/TH add too much freaking detail to the BG and that looks cluttered as a hell.

      TH’s character design is still terrible because everyone looks the same, adding body hair wouldn’t necessarily make these characters look and better designed because EVERYONE LOOKS THE SAME- or really they have 4 total male bodes, Seme, Uke, Child and Glider.

    • You see the reason that you seek lots of sex with men and wish you were a sex worker is because you never felt your body belonged to you, since you were born to be king. You had a dream about a watermelon? It represents your anus and how bad you want to get it eaten.

      Haha I like that riff!

      There’s a lot of crazy shit that goes into ~beauty~ a lot of how men are precieved as attractive comes from how women are seen as attractive since female beauty had been the standard for a long time.

  5. Wanda says:

    I was going to mention the cigarettes, but someone beat me to it. So YES TO EVERYTHING THAT PERSON SAID.

    I’ve been writing a lot of prostitutes lately. And you know, I figure the ones that make the most make the most for a reason, and it’s far beyond looks. Assuming that this is a world where a man can make more than a woman whoring, I have a really, REALLY hard time believing that Axis could be the highest earner. Cuz you know what customers don’t want, whether it’s sex work or elsewhere? Shitty customer service. High earning prostitutes are high earners because they make the customer feel valued and appreciated. They help the customer unwind and forget about his/her problems. I mean, unless you’re hiring someone to beat you and berate you, but the sex worker doesn’t act like an ass off the bat– only once you’ve agreed upon what you want out of the arrangement.

    Who the hell would pay a guy to act like a macho asshole? Can’t I get that every day for free? As a woman, it might be worth it to pay an escort just because you know he’s not just gonna pump and dump. THAT IS THE POINT OF PAYING FOR SEX.

    Ugh, it just hurts my brain. Once again, these authors have no clue to how sex work operates. It’s not like I’ve ever paid for or engaged in sex work, but jeezus, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that if you’re paying for sex, you’re paying for a good experience, not some immature jack-off to mouth off to you.

    Not saying Rhys deserves a sex worker who DOESN’T mouth off, but still.

    • wanderingaddict says:

      I like the idea of Axis having found a niche market that fits his character – he’s a “safe” bad-boy that doesn’t fawn/beg/act condescending or gossip in the ways the women of the court are used to/expect. assuming his original incarnation, he’s a no-strings-attached, incredibly sensual “I will get you off” sexual release kind of fuck that they can just walk away from or come back to at will. he loves his job and he loves making those women pleased/inspiring them to be repeat customers. the speed and eagerness that he pounces on Rhys’s sister would suggest he knows exactly which women will respond to his attitude and how far he can go (which would also be excellently appropriate for someone who relies so heavily on cajoling favor from their clients).

      now, Rhys is supposed to be the “unpleasant cog” thrown into the mix, a client that is not his preferred type and one he cannot say no to (you know, despite whatever the authors say). now, if they had any ability to write/hell even just stole from fan comments, they’d do a great story about a macho man who previously sneered at other whores for ever debasing themselves in any way suddenly needing to reconcile both that he is A) doing something he doesn’t want to (just like the) and B) that he’s actually enjoying it. hell, you could even toss in some very confusing/conflicting feelings of bromance in there too, just to muddle things up. is he enjoying this because he normally gets little interaction with other masculine men? with men as independent as himself? is there a sense of comraderie about it? or you could even have Rhys, who’s established as bi, take on a mentorship role about sexuality while Axis teaches Rhys about how responsiblity or whatever else other shit.

      anyways that got super tangential! I was just wanting to say that I really like the idea of a feisty/fierce courtesan who is what the clients pay for – not everyone wants a wilting flower. I want to like Axis so much for that fact, but obviously the terrible writing would rather have him just act like an 8 year old girl. also, he could have totally turned down Rhys the last 2 or 3 times? remember how Rhys didn’t make him exclusive, which is why Axis isn’t the top earner anymore? gee authors why haven’t you addressed that in any way, shape, or form? or does Rhys just walk in and out without paying anyways? despite the fact that he’s a, you know, prince and you’d think the maids/guards/everyone would trip over themselves entertaining him before his 20 min (tops) fuck.

      • To be fair the rule of the land is that they’re not allowed to deny clients ever for any reason, so many he has that ingrained? But I would have loved to see the brothel turn down Rhys for his shitty behavior, to bring to light what a real brat he actually is.

        I love the safe bad boy sex worker concept but it falls ever so flat. 90% of what we see from him is just him acting like a macho toolbag trying to make up for imagined emasculation. No presence, sensuality, strength, just YOU CAN’T TELL ME NOT TO SMOKE BAKAAAAAA!!! One thing that could have fixed this if they established him as the “Tiger” he claimed him to be, but than that night of sex unravels him and he has an internal struggle about it. Not on page 4 he’s getting it in the butt while he bitches about it.

        One of the many issues with Teahouse is that they can’t keep it in their pants long enough to establish anything.

        • wanda says:

          Yes, this. He doesn’t strike me as being mature enough to pull off the sensual, masculine whore. Maybe with the women he’s different but of course it’s not SMEXY to show us how he is with women he actually wants to fuck, so all that possible characterization is up for debate.

      • wanda says:

        He does seem to behave differently toward women, such as Rhys’s sister, because he kissed her hand and promised her a good time. THAT is something I can understand a prostitute doing. And I guess you might act like an ass toward someone you don’t want to have sex with. I definitely don’t want to read about sex workers being wilted flowers– cuz that’s basically Linneus, and he pisses me off. I just think sex workers should show a certain humanity behind sex, instead of being jack-offs or pathetic slaves. Like, they could be nice and funny and intelligent, because that’s how it used to be in the old days– the whores were the “inappropriate” women who had actual personalities and drank and smoked and swore like men, because that was a venue that allowed it. OR MAYBE IT’S NOT TRUE, I just wish it were.

        There are still some things I don’t like, which is how Axis treats his fellow whores, which could be chalked up as a flaw, which is FINE, because I think any high-earner is allowed to be a bit of a bitch to everyone else (of course, Lilith is the only one who gets FLACK for it).

        These are all things that could be pulled off just fine with good authors. Honestly, I think MOST tropes I don’t like could be pulled off with a good author behind the wheel. Sadly, it’s not these ones.

        • wanderingaddict says:

          oh definitely; I agree with both of you. Axis is inexplicably bratty and, oddly, at times the friendliest and at other times the bitchiest of all the characters (especially towards his fellow whores). it’s so weird too, because it just seems so hormonal. one minute up! one minute down and glumpy :(. on one hand he’s one of the most comfortable with his body and least shy and inhibited, but he has no alliances or even friendships with a single person… um… anywhere in the entire comic? and looks radically different from everyone else? lawlz, like that fucking matters though, given that Gilder is straight-up steampunk.

          anyways, I agree totes. whatever they’re doing with him, it’s not working. it’s just too bad, was all I was really lamenting, because there’s a great basis there, if only they… would bother to like, sit and think about things for more than half a second.

          • Wouldn’t it make sense for the youngest, the teenage prostitute to be the hormonal one?

            Haha it would make sense but than we couldn’t have a good fap over how innocent he is.

            Apparently Axis gets along with Claret but that’s it. Wouldn’t it be touching to show Axis’ frustration at having no friends in the business because of his own insecure behavior so when something serious like Rhys raping him happens he feels like he has nowhere to turn? Or show him confining in Claret over his confused feelings on his sexuality since yanno Claret is supposed to be a lesbian anyway?

            OOPS that’d make him sympathetic sorry!

          • wanderingaddict says:

            all those ideas are fantastic :’( sometimes I do wonder if the world wouldn’t be a better place if there were times you could just tap someone’s hands and go “tut tut, you did great! I’ll just take over from here for a bit though. now now, no arguing! I just need to fix some of your mistakes and it’ll be good as new!”

          • Ahhh what a world it would be!

    • Shan says:

      “I was going to mention the cigarettes, but someone beat me to it. So YES TO EVERYTHING THAT PERSON SAID.”

      It’s always nice to know I’m not the only one getting picky about the history of smoking.

      “Who the hell would pay a guy to act like a macho asshole?”
      Only those who are into that sort of stuff and you covered that with earlier with the BDSM example. You wouldn’t be a dick until you’ve agreed you’re going to act like a dick. Acting like a macho asshole in “bed”/during sex is different from being a macho asshole at work. It’s like being an actor. Playing an asshole character is fine but you’re not supposed to be an actual asshole.

      He was sort of acting nice to the princess. Kissing her hand and that. That’s about it.

      • cc says:

        But we know he’s an asshole most of the time because when he’s off duty he’s still the same whiny child.

        I believe off-comic the authors say something to the effect that Axis is SOOPER NICE 2 GURLZ and has fucked all the maids or something.


        • Ugh they were fangirling over their own shit to the 9th degree when he kissed the princess’ hand. LOOK PROOF HE CAN BE NICE IF HE WANNA TEEHEE!!!

        • Shan says:

          I’m not say, at all, that Axis isn’t a brat (sorry if it sounded like that). All I meant was that if he was pretending to be a brat because somebody paid him to, then that would have been okay. On-stage v off-stage sort of thing.

      • Wanda says:

        Yeah, I found the cigarettes jarring. You guys have made me all pedantic, so thank you for that. :D

        But Mercurio is the SUPER GROSS kinky one, so he’d take all the customers who wanted the BDSM action.

        Yeah, I’m sure he was only nice to the princess because the authors wanted to give Rhys a reason for being pissed. PLEASURING A WOMAN? HOW DARE YOU.

        • Shan says:

          “But Mercurio is the SUPER GROSS kinky one, so he’d take all the customers who wanted the BDSM action.”
          It’s almost like the writers have no idea how brothels and prostitution works.

          It doesn’t even make sense that he was pissed. Axis wouldn’t have been able to turn down his sister even if he wanted to. Good thing she was smoking hot.

    • Yeah Lillith is the highest earning female prostitute and she’s bitchy, two faced, and even just sat and glared at Glider when she’s supposed to be selling herself.

      So yeah they have no concept. Like when Axis is with his female clients he turns on a measure of charm, but to me its just PAINFULLY obvious that he’s just doing it as part of the job. We also see more bratty immature behavior from him than charming so its hard to think that he’s popular at all.

      Personally I would fine it as a really cool plot twist if Axis acted like a macho toolbag in front of Rhys cause he KNEW Rhys wanted to dominant a tough guy….but he’s just a macho toolbag.

      • Wanda says:

        Great, now I’m writing head fanfics about Rhys being a sub. THANKS A LOT GUYS. Oh well. Maybe I’ll just cling to it whenever the Teahouse authors do something particularly awful.

        The only seducing we’ve seen Lillith do is seduce Xanthe, who isn’t even a client. Actually, the friendliest person seems to be the LOWEST earner, cuz LOGIC! Fuck, Claret’s the only one who even greets the customers. So, let me get this straight: woman with huge boobs, bubbly personality, and a good relationship with her coworkers makes the least money.


        • wanderingaddict says:

          hahaha also ignoring the fact that the kink-master (Mercurio) could charge exorbitant sums on the people who want their special niche-kink fulfilled, but… nope. Axis was top earner, maybe by virtue of the fact that he actually has clients at all? I don’t know, we’ve seen Linneaus have 1, Mercurio have 1 and mention a few others, and Rory has 1. maybe their brothel is just a very unpopular destination? OH! OR GASP it could be like a MASSIVE SECRET like one of those bars that’s called “The Library” so whenever anyone says they’re “just going out to the Library” they get to do a little “tee-hee!” at their subterfuge. and oh wow wouldn’t that add some intrigue and depth to the comic if there was an element of secrecy to everything? haha not that it would ever happen of course.

          • cc says:

            But it’s hardly a secret since apparently EVERYONE knows where the prince goes and even newbie/poor customers (like Glider) know where it is.

            Mercutio has had the most clients if the extra comics can be taken into account. Given how many toys maybe we’re supposed to think they ALL earn a ton of money and what he earns just AIN’T ENUFF2COMPARE.

            But yeah, WTF on Claret since she’s seriously the only nice one. I think Pinky is supposed to be “nice” too but god knows he probably doesn’t get many clients because of Pimpy’s grubby hands or something. Seriously all of this is just flavor.

          • Anonymous says:

            Well, I think Teahouse got everything wrong. I mean, Clarett has everything to be the top earner, same with Mercutio. Actually, I don’t think many men would like to sleep with Pinky. He acts like a princess- funny, cause that’s how Lilith was supposed to act. And I just love how everyone assumed, that Linneus sleeps only with men. It would be a huge plot twist to give him female customer, but nope- this is yaoi! It wouldn’t be cute ‘n all!

            Also, I guess everyone noticed, Sacha is here for a kink. Creation of his character probably went like ‘lol, Hamlet Machine has a Russian character, let’s have one too! He’d swear in russian- so creative!’ Oh and it looks so natural for than ermine to have a heart-shaped blaze.

            And seriously- the focuse too much on Athros instead of making development of other characters (not that Athros has any). The love square Pimpy-Pinky-Lilith-Yvetta is really…random and werid. Hell, what do all those people see in this aggressive idiot?! Are they all masochists or something? Oh, and I LOVE how fandom laughts at Yvetta and portrays her as stupid. You should reblog that fan comic about Xante teaching Yvetta playing the piano.

          • What a cool character claret would be if she’s the top earner of a high fluent brothel but still acts down to earth and cares about the new prostitutes?


            I actually posed an Ask Axis question asking if Claret, Lillith, Mercurtio, or Pinky had female clients. The only thing he said was Claret never has clients and Mercutio has female clients WHY WOULD THEY CHOOSE HIM THOUGH I’M SO MUCH BETTER!!!! So I’m guessing Pinky can’t sleep with clients outside his orientation even though the house clearly makes Claret, and Axis have sex outside their orientation.

            Fucking the idea of Sacha pisses me off. He’s comic relief because he doesn’t know how to speak English perfectly since its his second language. It’d be one thing if it was something poked fun at every now and again like, “…That’s a ship not a shit Sacha” But no his character is pretty much, “lol learn to speak American you flamboyant weasel man!” Languages are fucking hard, especially one like English!

            I am always charmed when I have fans comment on my riffs and they apologize for their English even though I couldn’t even notice that they weren’t native speakers. So fucks on them for their “SACHA HAS MOOD A HUR HUR” bullshit.

            Yeah the love square of Lillith, Yvette, Pinky, and Atros is very dumb. I have seen the fancomic of him trying to teach Yvette piano and the authors seemed to love it, so I bet she is supposed to be fucking stupid. HELL IT WORKS OUT FOR YOU ATROS, SHE’S PROBABLY THE ONLY ONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW YOU’RE GETTING MORE BOOTY THAN YOUR SEX WORKERS!!!!

          • Wanda says:

            @ cc:

            I think Pinky is only allowed to fuck one or two clients cuz OTHERWISE HE’D BE A TOTAL SLUT, and sluts aren’t kawaii. Seriously. he spends half of the comic picking roses. Don’t they have a fucking gardener to do that? Why isn’t he working?

            @ Anon:

            What woman would want to sleep with a girly dude? OH WAIT EVERY YAOI FANGIRL EVER APPARENTLY. Hell, I have a slight kink for girly dudes, but not ones like Linneus. No, I’d want them to come with a spine and preferably a potty mouth, cuz that shit’s awesome.

            Yeah, Sacha’s the WACKY FOREIGNER, cuz the authors realized that trope hadn’t been filled yet. OH LOOK HOW SILLY, HE THINKS HE’S PEOPLE.

            I can see Yvette and Lillith. Yvette was probably married off to him for politics or some shit; maybe she didn’t have a say (then again, I assume nothing that actually makes sense with these authors). And there might be perks in seducing the owner of the place, especially if you’re a slave. He might give you more privileges, let you leave the premises and maybe give you money that you could then hoard away fro the moment when you escape. OH BUT WAIT SHE’S IN LOVE WITH HIM NEVER MIND. Silly wimminz aren’t allowed agency!

          • Technically we’ve seen Linneaus have 2, remember abuser that Atros took care of? Mercurio in the extras has 5 clients in one day apparently, which are all men. I don’t know sex work very well but 5 clients in one day seems like a piss poor amount.

            If the Prince knows about it, and everybody knows the prince knows about it, and they have business cards I doubt they’re a secret. This is once again just chalked up to the fact they know jack shit about sex work.

          • wanderingaddict says:

            oh wow I didn’t know there was so much antipathy towards Sacha! but then I personally envisioned him being a power-top and ultra ripped under that gigantic coat and was super amused by the idea of an incredibly ripped mage (because why the fuck not, you already have plastics in victorian times and he looks flamboyant enough to be one) who’s actually super manry but also is a total fashionista and takes manicure-level care of his hands. he’d take off his coat in a fanciful flourish and be more ripped than Gildar! and then I chuckled a little and promptly forgot all about this worthless side character it’ll take them 3+ years to actually resolve anything with, given the rate they’re going.

          • Anonymous says:

            I’d like Sacha if he had, well… personality. He’s clearly here to be an oriental bishounen.
            Sacha as top? I’m too long in bad yaoi manga to know how this will end- he will ebd as bottom, cause you know, for CC and E he’s too pretty to be top. It’s probably going to be a ‘boom, so big revelation OMG lol111!! :P

          • Even though in his character description it says he’d top you in your sleep, I picture this as another Axis/Rhys deal. I REALLY WANT TO TOP BUT GOSH I JUST LOOK SO GREAT WITH A DONG IN MY BUM AND I HAVE A PERSONALITY 180 WHEN A WIENER IS AROUND ME!

        • Seems as if they run by the idea that, “IF YOU CREATE DRAMA THAT MAKES YOU SEXIER!”

          Even though wouldn’t somebody paying for a roll in the hey want to stay out of that shit? Isn’t that the point of going with a prostitute instead of a relationship?

          GOD WHATEVER!

  6. wanderingaddict says:

    it’s been two years already and, what, they’ve shown that… Rhys’s father is dying, only we have no clue how this affects him, given that he did all the things he normally does anyways? wow. maybe by the time I die I’ll find out why the fuck Atros needs to stick it to his wife, Lilith, and Pinky which… I mean it made sense that he’d fuck Lilith instead of his 3-year old girl of a wife, but apparently he fucks them both (which I get I guess) and is totally okay with fucking Pinky?? like… I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. at all. what kind of writing decision is that??

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