Updatefor 11/25/13!

Prostitutes r’ Us NSFW! Oooo look at Pinky being so passive aggressive by making Pimpy money!

Let’s Hateo Kaito Rapeo!

Prostitutes r’ Us

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48 Responses to Updatefor 11/25/13!

  1. Stardigrade says:

    LOL xD

    Kinda lazy that they gave Rory and Linneus the exact same body-type and basically similar hair-cut (what’s new?)…

  2. RayneofCastamere says:

    And this storyline will go absolutely nowhere since Emirain did the stupid thing and revealed the end pairings, thereby removing all tension. Bleh.

  3. Wanda says:

    More shiny-ness! Awesome! That’s hot! Just how I like my men– hairless and shiny, like my newly waxed car.

    Teahouse feels like porn to me. I mean, yes, obviously it is porn. But it kinda follows the same track, where you don’t really care about any of the characters and they just fuck for a visual and no one has any pubic hair. Looking at this page and all of their pages, you wouldn’t think any of them even like each other (which they usually don’t, cuz THAT’S HOT!) I mean, look at Pinky’s hands. He’s, like, GENTLY cupping Gilder’s head, like he’s just hanging out there and (probably) faking it.

    I think what I miss (can I miss something that was never there?) is the humor. The smiles. The feeling that you get when you see two characters who like each other and have fun. THAT is what you don’t usually get in porn, and that is what you don’t get in Teahouse. It’s just two people fucking and it’s like so what. I have no emotional involvement whatsoever.

    As for your riff, I find it impressive that Pinky can take a double-decker. MOST PEOPLE CAN ONLY TAKE THE REGIONAL AMTRAK TRAIN UP THEIR ASS. That’s how you can tell Pinky is a professional!

    • Corrin says:

      You know, I hadn’t thought of that lack in Teahouse. A little goofing off between a couple who obviously like each other instead of just tolerate each other would be really nice to see… I like to see when a couple gets really comfortable around each other, that they joke together and lose their modesty a bit with each other and all that, even during ~sexy tiems~
      Where is all the affection? If the authors had actually meant for this to be some grim sex slavery story and weren’t still desperately playing all this up as true love, the lack might not be a problem. But they didn’t, so it does sort of stick out, doesn’t it?

      • wanda says:

        THey do try with the “joking around” thing, but only between whores (see: any joke with Mercutio or Green Hair) and it’s usually a jab at a character’s expense, never because the character telling the joke is actually trying to be funny.

        The authors are trying for some medium between “WHACKY COMEDY!” and “SEXUAL SLAVERY”, which, of course, falls flat on its face, because only the truly talented writer could make a whacky comedy about sexual slavery ever work. :/ There is just ZERO warmth from anyone except Gilder (I admit it, I have a thing for doofy big dudes who are kinda stupid but also kinda nice), and it just really bums me out. I love characters who treat others with respect, who like to laugh and are compassionate, and I just hate everyone in this comic cuz none of them have that.

        • Stardigrade says:

          Heyy, really thinking about it, that’s actually that’s something I haven’t seen in a long time. I wanna see some characters try to make each other laugh and get reactions out of each other rather than the audience continuously. Trying to make your characters perform all the time kinda makes the 4th wall obvious :(

          • Wanda says:

            Nothing warms my heart faster than two characters who support one another and make one another laugh. Unfortunately, the majority of romantic stories/webcomics/movies/etc don’t seem to understand that. :/

        • Like I think they tried to do the joking around thing between Rhys and Axis in their last scene together but holy fuck.

          It was one dude telling another that he’s a whore because he’s an orphan and that for some reason made both of them really horny. CHRIST!

          • Wanda says:

            some people have morbid sense of humor, but that just didn’t even make any sense. LOL U HAVE NO PARENTS, UR A SLUT. That’s like when you find out someone was molested as a child and you say something like “WELL THAT EXPLAINS WHY UR AN ALCOHOLIC, LOLOLOLOL.”

            Uhhhhhh, no. DX

          • Stardigrade says:

            If I did a remix of Teahouse, I’d have that punch scene right after that comment -__- Has anyone else thought that just jumbling the panels and pages around, you could get a better story together?

    • Stardigrade says:

      Starfighter tries to have goofy couple-y moments but I dunno they still come across as cold and pasted-on and I-just-dont-give-a-shit.

      • Wanda says:

        It doesn’t help that Cain is an asshole and Abel has no agency/spine. When it’s two characters who have whole personalities and some strength (be it any kind of strength, emotional, physical, mental, etc), then that joking around comes off as much more authentic.

        • I never thought of it that way, but you have a good point. If two people aren’t on equal ground in some way it makes it very hard for them to joke with one another in a easy and fun manner.

          • cc says:

            That’s really the crux of the matter, no one can really function without how they want to fuck or sexually power trip each other. I mean yeah it’s porn but TH you have to pay to see and they shove in all this pointless shit.

            And despite SF being a little more honest about the porn part has apparently only recently toyed with the idea of mixing up the actual act of sex instead of just the location.

      • cc says:

        That’s because neither is a character and they don’t actually have any chemistry since Cain is being an asshole just for the sake of his own stereotype and Abel has about as much personality as a sock with a mop of yarn glued on.

        • Stardigrade says:

          Well CLEARLY Cain isn’t an arsehole any longer judging from recent pages, being so kind as to offer to be the BOTTOM for a change :o Gosh what a pansy.

          • cc says:

            I’m too pissed to roll with the sarcasm-

            See in THEORY this should be a breakthrough that he’s being less of an asshole, but it’s so forced and without buildup because the writing is so pisspoor that it means nothing. The conversation itself flows with the same blandness of ordering a burger from your least favorite drive-thru.

            But then watch the SF fanbase shit itself because wow a seme who is considering to bottom, SF is SOOOO progressive!

          • Wanda says:

            Yaoi fans are so oblivious to how actual gay men have sex that it’s almost funny. The vast majority of gay men are open to switching. Maybe not all the time, but at least every now and then. Because they don’t see bottoming as something a “woman” does. They just see it as another position.

            I agree that Abel has zero personality. It’s obvious when I can’t tell the difference between him and all the other super white navigators.

    • Blunderbuss says:

      I know, right? But it’s shockingly rare in yaoi because apparently it’s all supposed to be abusive seme/uke dynamics. It’s hard enough to find ACTUALLY consentual sex, much less fun and affectionate sex. Siiiigh.

      • Wanda says:

        It’s weird cuz you can have super kinky sex while still having it fun and adorable. Sunstone has proven that. Hell, you can even play-act the whole seme/uke thing if that’s really your jam, within the confines of a consensual relationship.

        I don’t know, man. I don’t get it and I don’t think I ever have. Or will.

        • cc says:

          I’ve wondered this as well and am completely floored at how many fans will try and FAIL to justify” their fucked up porn.

          The worst offenders being those who clearly have a non-con kink but then REFUSE at every turn to call their non-con kink to call it what it is; they will then FIGHT TO THE DEATH to ensure the rapist character isn’t CALLED A RAPIST OR SOMETHING despite sometimes “ironically” using variations of “he got raped good” to describe how they approve of the scene.

          It’s so fucking awful.

          • Wanda says:

            Self-awareness is not a common trait amongst yaoi fans. I can kind of see why it might be difficult to admit to yourself that you’re into rape fantasy, since rape is BAD and doesn’t that make you a BAD PERSON?

            I’ve actually found that some of our “kinks” are more socially engrained than they are biological. I think the rape thing is one of them. I remember being more into the abusive kind of romance when I was younger (ahem, Twilight), before I educated myself. Now it kinda just grosses me out. Not saying everyone can “cure” themselves with awareness and research, but I don’t think the insane amounts of rape culture in our romance is absolutely destined to be there.

          • Stardigrade says:

            Rape fantasy is a surprisingly common kink in women! According to this study
            http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19085605
            “62% of women have had a rape fantasy”
            Care2.com has an article that says rape fantasy is the third most common kink in women.

            Knowing these statistics, I think it’s pretty natural for crap-fests like Starfighter and Twilight to be popular. I mean if you think about it, both Starfighter and Twilight are easy to access, and the access to quality media with rape fantasy content requires a little more rooting around. This is the best newcomer kinky fans can find to consume and it doesn’t occur to them that better work does exists!

            Solution? People, start make your quality kinky media easier to access.

          • wanda says:

            I feel like I always have to use the disclaimer “people can be into whatever they want”, but I always thought the rape fantasy thing was kind of like the whole “I find black people ugly” thing. I’m sure there are some people which is is totally biologically ingrained and if they grew up in a vacuum, they’d still feel that way. But for the most part it’s a product of our culture, and I just think it’s really sad. :(

          • Stardigrade says:

            Do you believe Rape Culture exists?

          • Wanda says:

            Yes I do.

    • I personally feel more like it’s a bad soap opera except without the camp appeal.

      Like it’s a bunch of sup-par actors trying to have steamy flirtations with one another but they all kinda passively hate each others and are sick of doing re-takes so they just say the words so they can go back to the buffet. Negative chemistry, and everything comes out really stiff.

      I frankly don’t get why Rory is supposed to be “into” Reed. He treats him with 0 tenderness which seems to be something Rory has been desperately craving. Reed has no soul so it feels like due to peer pressure he hired a prostitute and goes through the motions so nobody can say he isn’t a whoremonger.

      Pimpy seems to like Pinky because he thinks he’s another one he can con him into fucking him. Pinky seems to like Pimpy because he feels as if he’s SUPPOSED to. He’s my boss and I knew him for awhile, so I should love him right?

      Rhys just wants to treat somebody like shit and Axis likes Rhys in a direct opposition to what his actual characterization should dictate.

      Like it’d be one thing if there was no affection or joy in the comic because…well it’s sexual slavery. But they’re trying so hard to toss in tenderness and chemistry but fucking suck so hard at it.

      • Wanda says:

        The RoryXReed thing is the most bizarre. At least Axis and Rhys have this sort of hate=love thing going on, which is not realistic but still a “thing” that happens a lot in romance. And Pinky and Pimpy fulfill the “MISUNDERSTOOD RICH DUDE” trope as well as the damsel in distress trope. Of course these tropes don’t make sense, but they’re tropes, and people feel comfortable with them.

        But Reed and Rory? WHat fucking trope are they? We already have a misunderstood rich dude and some duck-face-making damsel in distress who can’t do shit himself. We don’t NEED Rory at all, nor do we need Reed. There is no hate between them, there’s no ~*~mysterious history~*~(Pinky and Pimpy).

        I honestly would rather just read a story about Rory taking a dump than a story about him fucking Reed. They are the absolutely most boring and WTF couple I can think of.

        • cc says:

          Rory is THE VIRGIN (TM) and Reed is THE ROBOT (TM)

        • I agree so hard. All the couples are poorly written but at least Pinky/Pimpy has cliche drama, and Axis/Rhys try to mix it up with some fight/hate love.

          My best guess is Rory Reed fit the standard uke/seme relationship closest to the letter, but they don’t even seem to understand the basis for the uke/seme dynamic, which is 9 times out of 10 totally forced on the uke. While this is also somewhat forced on Rory, he agrees to it, and has developed “feels” for Reed despite Reed doing nothing unselfish toward him. So it pretty much is trying to fit the square peg in the round hole here.

        • Stardigrade says:

          TO me, Reed/Rory have always been a pederasty couple in my eyes, which in modern media nearly always comes with negative connotations. Making Rory 18 makes him legal but his whole design and personality and woobiness suggest someone 3 years younger.

        • Wanda says:

          Lol at the “He’s totes 18 guiz!” cuz whenever anyone has to insist upon that, you KNOW you’re in for some infantilizing bullshit. If he acted 18 or older, they wouldn’t have to keep insisting he’s legal. I’d say he even acts younger than 15. 15-year-olds are little shits. I’m thinking he acts pre-pubescent, before you start hating everyone and think you’re just sooooo smart (come on now, we were all 15 at some point). I’m gonna guess that Rory acts more like he’s 12 or 11.

          And faps is right in that usually we get the robotic seme being insanely possessive to show his love or whatever, but we don’t even get that with Reed. I mean, he wants exclusivity, but he doesn’t get to stalk and manipulate Rory like most of his kind do. HOW CAN IT BE TRUE YAOI LOVE WITHOUT THAT???

          • Stardigrade says:

            You’re right, he doesn’t even act 15. Y’know, I could forgive his snotty childishness if he expressed some profound opinions (as 18 year olds are inclined to do) every once in a while instead of bloody making cupcakes. In real life, people with his kind of body-type and cutesy looks would be doubly assertive in showing outsiders they have a spine and deserve to be taken seriously.

            I could forgive Rory’s character design if they chose to keep him a juvenile body and a mature brain, or a juvenile brain with a mature body.

          • Lol at the “He’s totes 18 guiz!” cuz whenever anyone has to insist upon that, you KNOW you’re in for some infantilizing bullshit. If he acted 18 or older, they wouldn’t have to keep insisting he’s legal

            THIS THIS THIS THIS THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

            They are clearly saying his innocence, his virgin ~purity~, and nativity is what makes Rory desirable. Stuff that is not typical in 18 years olds. Even in the setxtras Reed comments about how he hopes Rory’s body fills out as he matures, implying that HE’S NOT FULL GROWN YET! I could see a 13 maybe 14 year old girl with this personality. Now I’m not saying that girly boys at this early age don’t exist and blah blah, but clearly boys and girls have different pressures growing up. Rory’s personality lends him to be gullible and impressionable, if he was growing up with at least a couple MALE PEERS and male influences in his life he most likely would’ve felt pressured to be masculine in some way. Does he have to pull an Axis? No, but he has to be mature enough to know all that is bullshit, and be his own person. He is in no way mature enough for that, but sits in the corner baking cup cakes for his man all day.

            His budding sexuality makes no sense on top of it. He behaves as if he just discovered what sex is. A lot of people may not have had sex by the time they were 18, but few act like its a brand new thing they never thought of and IMPRINT their entire sexuality on the first person who introduces them to it.

            Jesus shit, do they know anything about sexuality?

          • Wanda says:

            @Stardigrade: This has been what has always bothered me about these uke boys. If you’re scrawny and girly, you have to learn to defend yourself. You won’t survive otherwise. And yet they are constantly wilting little flowers who just sit around and be cute and are totally incapable of self-defense, even verbal self-defense. It’s bullshit. I think that’s why feminine gay men often have such a scathing sense of humor, because they have to develop one in order to survive.

            @Faps: I do think men don’t fully develop until their mid-twenties but yes, it definitely has this connotation that his balls haven’t dropped yet or something (looking at him, it’s impossible to tell if they have). Realistically I’d say that if he faps to his sister that he’s probably been locked in a room all day with no one but her his whole life, since generally incest is a sign of either abuse or a culture that encourages it (though even the ancient Egyptians kept siblings apart so that they’d bone each other when they were married). If this were true, I could see why he’d be unusually naive about sex and men in general, but I doubt the authors even thought about it.

  4. Wanda says:

    Also, as for KaitoShuno, what a mechanic she must be when she doesn’t even know that you OPEN THE DOOR when you want to fiddle with something inside the car interior.

    It’s not that hard to have someone lift the hood and wiggle their ass without looking like a dumbass. I don’t think AngelPerez realizes that a) doors open and b) the engine is actually located in the front part of the car.

  5. wanderingaddict says:

    this was the best riff ever faps. i… i love you.

  6. Blunderbuss says:

    Hahahaha YES, I was waiting to see how you would riff this! And holy god did I not see this coming, this is fantastic.

    Personally, I saw the sound effect ‘dunnn’ and instantly thought of ‘Dun dun DUUUUUUUN PINKY IS HAVING ‘PASSIONATE’ SEX WITH NOT-ASSHOLE! OH NOEZ!” Because remember, Pinky having sex with someone who cares for him is bad.

    • Wanda says:

      I’m not willing to wade through the comments, but I’m sure there are plenty of people who think Gilder is “boring” and “safe” because apparently enjoying sex makes it boring. I’m all for the occasional hate sex, but that is ALL THIS COMIC IS. Except for Pinky and Gilder. :/ Honestly, if the comic were just about them, I don’t think I’d hate the comic at all.

      *sigh*

    • That’s right girls and gay men who bottom. If somebody cares about you, he’s gotta be a bad lay. Fuck douche-shits 24/7!

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