Update for 7/31/14!

SFW!

Let’s Hateo Kaito Rapeo!

Even throw away dialog is bugging the piss out of me. ONLY KS!

Prostitutes r’ us

Worth the wait? n/n?

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45 Responses to Update for 7/31/14!

  1. RayneofCastamere says:

    They have pseudo-not-really punk fashion and they’ve eliminated STDs, but apparently the internal combustion engine is too much.

    The Cinderella vibes they’re trying to put in just do not fit! I really hope King Douche’s fiance poisons Axel. She’s only been on one page, but I love her. She doesn’t put up with King Douche’s shit.

    But she’s a *clutches pearls* WIMMINS and therefore teh ebuls, so we can’t have that. *sigh*

    • Also POC are totally unrealistic.

      I am hoping Gloria storms in with fire and brimstone (even if its after some tearful kingly reveal with boohoo u babu have sum sex.) Through pointing out legit problems these characters have that will make them evil. Cause no rationale person would dare tell these Adonises they’re acting like children. So she’ll be slinking in the shadows snidely cackling like Remy but still be more likable than the rest of the cast.

    • Wanda says:

      But how else could they demonstrate their total ignorance of horse structure and tack? Honestly, I know it’s a stupid thing to get angry about, but DAMN IT, THIS HORSE NERD IS ANGRY. STOP DRAWING GIRTHS SO FAR BACK, LOOK AT A DAMN PICTURE OF A SADDLE FOR ONCE. I mean, shit, even Breyer toy horses get it right.

      Rayne, King Douche’s fiance is just there to fill the tits quota. You can’t expect her to have any actual AGENCY, because it is the women’s job to simple push along the men’s plot.

  2. Rita says:

    The second panel in KS. Every god damn yaoi do this and it looks absolutely disgusting.
    Legit question: Does j00d ever take his sunglasses off?

    as for teahouse, its a shame when someone can art this well and waste the talent on something as lame as this :/

    • In one scene Jude is seen wearing one of those beauty sleep masks. We never see his eyes for some asinine reason. Maybe they’re so bright it would blind anybody looking directly into them.

    • blankface says:

      The ‘people stick their tongues out and jab them at one another’ has got to be one of the grossest artist conventions (usually in hentai/yaoi) I have ever seen. Like, I get that it’s hard to convey a french kiss visually, but if the only way to do so is this… just… idk learn how to illustrate a passionate kiss in other ways. Because the sloppy tongue jabs thing is such a boner killer.

      • Wanda says:

        Even I, a person with no kissing experience, knows how disgusting yaoi kisses are. HERE, LET’S STICK OUR TONGUES OUT AND WIGGLE THEM TOGETHER. HOW ABOUT NO. Also, the way yaoi draws sweat/saliva/semen is totally gross too. It always looks like they’re eating melting cheese.

        Teahouse is proof that just because you are exceptional at one art doesn’t mean you’re any good in another. They should really get a writer who knows what she’s doing to guide them through this process.

        • rags says:

          the strange thing is that I have seen that in lots of Japanese porn actually do that when they kiss, where they just touch tongues and waggle them together. it’s weird as hell

        • krissa says:

          So should you!

        • Rita says:

          Oh god melting cheese. Cannot unsee ;__;

          T-house reminds me of Bleedman. There’s no denying he’s a good artist (even if his subject matter is questionable), but he can’t write stories worth shit. I tried to follow Sugar Bits out of morbid curiousity for a while, and it was a fucking clusterfuck.

          • Wanda says:

            I’m trying to think of a comic that is the opposite- bad art and good writing. But people who are very good at writing know when their art isn’t so good and decide not to pursue a webcomic. Which is a shame, because you can sort of suck at art and still draw stylized things. I’m not saying Kate Beaton is terrible at art–I actually think she’s talented– but I like to think she’s good at drawing faux-bad art for the sake of humor.

          • Rita says:

            Kate Beaton is awesome!
            Yes, I think that if she wanted to she could make anatomically correct “pretty” drawings, and I really like that she doesn’t. There are so many webcomics where it seems like its only purpose is to showcase the authors mad skillz, story and humor be damned.
            As for bad art/good story, there’s this thing http://badwebcomicswiki.shoutwiki.com/wiki/Cheshire_Crossing I haven’t read the actual comic, but the reviewer mainly had a beef with the art, and actually liked the writing.

          • RC says:

            Selkie http://www.selkiecomic.com/ is a comic that is decent writing but not the greatest of artistic skill. (though it’s more of a PG kid comic)

            The Heavenly Bride theheavenlybride.com (admitting bias on this one, I’ve been following it for years through all it’s incarnations and restarts) Has suffered from script re-writes and art re-boots, but I think it’s finally settled on an style that’s a mash of 3D-turned hand drawn and a story telling style that has gotten the story to flow and develop a lot better than previous incarnations. Someone else would have to judge it though, cuz like I said I am bias and have liked it through all its ups and downs- but I do like the current form best and I wish it would get more support so it can up date more often and the artist/write could work on the other projects that have had to be put on pause cuz of RL stuffs.

          • Rita says:

            The heaveanly Bride really needs a new website layout. I can’t figure out how to navigate it at all, much less get to the actual comic.
            It’s a shame, cause I’m kinda intrigued.

  3. Wanda says:

    First two panels– pointless. They could have started the whole thing with a nice big picture of the castle, then show maybe two panels after that, one of the carriage and one of Axel sitting in it, looking at the castle. I understand the need to get ~*~creative~*~ by showing the castle through the window, but they cut half of it off with that stupid glass reflection thingy, and it’s smooshed into this tiny panel. These artists have shown that they LOVE details and LOVE drawing architecture, so I really wish they’d exploit that rare skill (trust me, I’d love to be able to draw backgrounds like they do) by making background’s more prominent.

    How much you wanna bet that the next page is going to be somewhere completely different, therefore making this page totally stupid and pointless? We get it. Axel’s all emo. When isn’t he?

    • Lurker says:

      You are so right! The scene isn’t really the problem but the paneling makes it seem that way because it’s just stupid.

      Even if they wanted to use that Axis’ view of the castle angle, that would have been fine. What I can’t understand is why they have to make their pages look like concept sketches for movies!? They do that all the time! Here it’s like the camera is supposed to zoom in on the carriage. Guess what! THERE IS NO FUCKING CAMERA! What a spectacular waste of space. They could have had Axis peeking out the window in the first panel and be done with it!

      Another simple thing that would have improved the page a lot would have been to show Axis arriving at the castle in stead of just en route. So pointless.

      • cc says:

        I’ll agree with the shit pacing but not necessarily with criticizing the move of “mimicking” camera shots since good cinematography is a powerful asset and there is overlap between good paneling and good cinematography.

        Again the problem with TH is that the artists don’t understand how the art is being produced at the sacrifice of not JUST pacing, but DESIGN (which shoots their efforts of art in the foot). This page is bad because instead of one panel of an establishing shot (since it’s the start of the chapter this is actually a good idea) they have one PAGE of it and the page output is way too slow to justify this kind of crap pacing and page output. Especially since we don’t learn anything new!

        The great irony is that (typically) movie concepts are far looser and employ a lot of implication since at it’s core, movie concepts are intended to be idea shorthand and TH has a very poor understanding of how to IMPLY DETAIL at all as a choice or a time-saving device. The only time they scrimp on visual details is if they flatly don’t give a damn about it and it really shows!

        Course I could have misinterpreted what you meant but just tossing in my own cents about the camera/movies thing.

        • Lurker says:

          Oh I totally agree that there is overlap and sometimes panelling can benefit from using similar techniques.

          It’s only a problem if you only apply them to zoom in (badly) or in some cases like where the “camera’s” position is fixed and it’s filming from the same angle for several panels where next to nothing happens. You rember, like they did on page nine of chapter five: http://www.teahousecomic.com/comic/?id=142

          So I guess what I should have said is that, because they’re shit at it, they shouldn’t do it. I don’t remember a single instance where they got that kind of thing absolutely right. They try, I guess, so points for effort? They don’t succeed. Like here, for instance, almost nothing’s changed between panels one and two. Only difference is that, in the second, we’re a little closer and Axis is visible through the window. That’s just so stupid. If this was a movie, that would have taken about two seconds but, in a comic, half a page is wasted on that shit. In my opinion, visual effects that draw from cinematography should be reserved for scenes where they work. TH do them very often for very mundane stuff.

          But yeah, I do agree with nearly everything you just said. And you’ve perfectly articulated the problem concerning the page output. That is it exactly!

          • cc says:

            Hah, figured I misread your intent a bit! But yeah I totally agree. And ugh that page, how NOT to do a meaningful passage of time or a compare/contrast of scenes.

            Actually a lot of their panel weakness seems to consist of REALLY HORIZONTAL panels. Coincidence or pattern?

    • This page could be broken down into a shot of the castle and Axis in front of it looking nervous. (If that really needs to be stated.) I think a few people argue this ~sets the mood~ but you can set a mood and do *GASP* other things at the same time! It is quite the shame to see such talent wasted.

      My bet is they’re not going to scene swap because the vast majority of this chapter is going to be Sex Slave/King. It’s their OTP afterall. My bet now is that the scene will be swapped off of them a total of two times, and both times fairly briefly for the entire chapter.

    • Bastet says:

      The glass reflection up close is the weirdest art choice on the whole page. It looks like a guillotine blade!

  4. bickazer says:

    Uh…is it winter? Is that snow on the castle or is that just meant to be lighting?

    I can’t really tell what season it ever is in Teahouse. Their clothes don’t help. (If it’s winter why is he wearing short sleeves?)

    • I think it’s just the lighting and the mountains (with snow) in the background throwing you off.
      God their clothes are TERRIBLE for trying to show the weather. We have enormous over-coats and tank-tops in the same page.

  5. Lurker says:

    This page of TH also illustrates yaoi artists’ inclination to choose sexy over portraying actual emotion. When you try to have it both ways, it just looks stupid and fake. A shame really because E is not a bad artist. It’s okay to draw man on man sexy times, don’t get me wrong. But when you’re not drawing a sex scene, your character doesn’t have to be smoking hot while he emoes…

    • cc says:

      Maybe I’m shit at reading emotions but I don’t really read “emo” off of Axis, I read “vague waiting”.

      Speaking of infuriating the alt text of the page is “does he shave or wax”, considering fucking no one has body hair in the comic.

      • Lurker says:

        You’re not shit at reading emotions, the writers are shit at making any effort to portray emotions when they have the choice to portray sexay~. I read some of the comments on the page though and you wouldn’t believe how many were talking about how nervous/anxious/pensieve and shit he is in this scene. I bet the way he’s leaning back and the position of his hands smoothing back his hair or whatever are supposed to convey some of that but the facial expression is very bland and maybe vaguely porny with the open mouth and all. A frown or something would have worked better to show his emotional state.

        • cc says:

          Pft, even the sexy is questionable, look at lord mouthbreather!

          Bless the miasma of toxic stupid that is the comments section. I know the fans are shit and I really ought to be pissed at them but it’s circled back to funny to me.

          • RC says:

            I got spoiled on artists that are addicted to drawing body language and facial expression.

            Derelict-http://derelictcomic.com/- no lie, 95% of the book is one character who does not talk. 10 pages in she says one word and yet you can tell what is going on cuz body/face expression.

            Kill six billion demons- crazy crazy art, the updating throws off the pacing major and yet it can still hold my interest cuz I want to find out what the hell is going on.

            Power Nap- rarely updates (for reasons) yet decent progression and entertaining body language.

            Monster’s Garden, Hemlock- I wish life would stop kicking those artists in the teeth cuz I would like to find out what happens.

            And don’t get me started on String Theory. Body language/face expressions enthusiast’s wet dream that comic.

            Tea House LOOKS like it could be on par with the above comics. It looks like it could stand a chance to win against them. But comparing Tea House to them is like comparing a catchy sales gimmick that sucks you in to a worth while product with no eye catching gimmick. You feel as stupid as hell for falling for it.

            This concludes my TH rant of the moment. Moving on to productivity!

          • Oh yeah! I’ve read Kill Six Billion demons and it is pretty cool. I’ll have to check out the rest of these.

          • cc says:

            (Thanks for the comic recs! As a webcomicker-author-whatever myself it’s always nice to learn about other webcomics and hopefully learn a thing or five from them!)

        • Rita says:

          You could make a case that there’s some subtle emoting going on in the second panel. there’s slight hints that he’s not feeling all too well about the situation, and i’m okay with that panel. Subtle expressions can be just as powerful, and it doesn’t have to always be https://conflictingviews.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/vg-cats-i-cant-believe-its-not-updated_1367606609993.png
          ….The last panel however.. it’s a pin-up. it’s a fucking pin up. There’s absolutely zero emotion in that face or that posture, aside from “i’m too sexy for my shirt”. Shit, even the Fairy Butt Inspektors up there are showing more emotion :v

          • Rita says:

            Uhm, and this might just be the thought bubble that obscures stuff but.. is it just me me or does he have a bad case of the t-rex arms?

          • cc says:

            Oh yeah totally, especially for more archetypal “loud” or outspoken characters that Axis’ writers wishes he could be.

            The next logical question is what subtle emotion is he showing or what makes him suddenly be subtle when he’s the only occupant of an empty cart in a very empty night.

            Normally I wouldn’t be this picky but there’s so much else wrong on the page in a comic that has been running long enough that it REALLY shouldn’t be making these kinds of mistakes still.

            And yes he sorta does have TRex arms or at least it feels like his arms recently atrophied. I dunno, maybe it’s that combo with whatever the hell he’s wearing.

          • Lurker says:

            Sure, but whatever promise there was in that second panel is pretty much obliterated by the last. And it isn’t even that hot. It is obviously meant to be but it just looks so cheesy.

            Then again I do still prefer any of the TH characters to AP’s Fairy Butt Inspectors any day. Those tongues are the grossest things I’ve ever seen. It’s like they’re vomiting phlegm into each other’s mouths…

          • Wanda says:

            He could be sighing. I guess the last panel kinda looks like a sigh? I don’t know, man. I’m pickin’ straws.

  6. RC says:

    Also- not sure if anyone else mentioned it- pretty sure the yaoi kiss/spit covered tongues is suppose to be be a work around for showing erect, body fluid covered dicks.

  7. Lurker says:

    Haha. I got to thinking of those tongues because, I dunno, my masochistic tendensies are flairing up? Anyway, while melted cheese and phlegm are both pretty nasty mental images, I think I’ve got an even grosser one!

    I hypothesize that the saliva of yaoi characters is actually highly acidic, causing the surface of the tongue to erode like the mother of all mouth ulcers. So, when a couple kiss, it’s not that they stick their tongues at each other, the tongues just stick together because of the slimy, sticky cellular goo on their surface. :D

    • Wanda says:

      That would explain why they never look like tongues. In profile, tongues are actually pretty thin, but in yaoi they always look like these bulbous masses, much like the head of a dick protruding from their mouth.

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