Update for 8/28/14

SFW! I’m feeling better! Have some melodramatic prostitutes.

Let’s Hateo Kaito Rapeo!

Prostitutes r’ Us

I wrote Gloria/Myself into the riffs so its canon. NO ARGUMENTS!

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47 Responses to Update for 8/28/14

  1. YonYonYon says:

    I’m gonna use “This isn’t the bathroom. My bad, I got confused because of the smell” someday, it’s perfect.

  2. Bewty Lorde says:

    I have never been so pleased to see a smug bastard have the condescending smirk wiped off of his face. This made my day.

  3. AngryRobotsInc says:

    It’s not everything I’d hoped for, but it’s sooooo good, either way. I’m honestly pretty surprised at the number of comments not flipping the fuck out.

    Too bad it’ll probably be all better within the next few pages, with their sense of pacing.

  4. laila says:

    I have no idea what Emiran think is supposed to be going on in Teahouse right now but since Rhys isn’t being eaten alive by rabid chinchillas I’d say it still counts as a disappointment.

    Also, I’ve decided that out of all the assholes, creeps, shotabait losers and assorted malcontents who make up the cast of this stupid comic, I definitely hate Rhys and Axis the most. (Atros comes close, but he’s far too bland to be entirely insufferable – it’s like trying to hate on a yeast colony – and though Rory and Linneaus are tiresome moeblobs, that’s really all they are.) I’d say they deserve one another because they’re both arrogant, grating, insufferable asshat jackasses who are basically totally fucking unbearable to be around for any time at all even when they keep their mouths shut… except that Rhys is also approximately 50000000% more insufferable than Axis, so even Axis doesn’t deserve that.

    So of course Teahouse is going to turn into The Rhys and Axis Happy-Go-Yaoi Funtime (Total-Lack-Of) Variety Show because fuck all the rest of the overly convoluted nonsense non-plot and dangling characters in this mess, almost all of whom are way less godawful than these two charmers, LET’S RUN THIS SUB-PRETTY WOMAN BULLSHIT INTO THE GROUND–oh Jesus this really is just an all-male Pretty Woman with neon fright wigs, and sparkly buttsex isn’t it.

    Christ I fucking hate Teahouse. I need a drink.

    • Anastasia says:

      That was fucking magnificent.

    • I would say Rory/Reed is a problem for me solely based on the “creep” factor of their relationship. I handle Pinky/Pimpy the best in my opinion, because as you said these insufferable wooblies deserve each other….Though I think you’re right Axis/Rhys is the worst. They have the most, “WHAT THE FUCK!?” plot jumps and character 180s to justify Rhys wretched behavior. Axis seemingly forgets how shitty Rhys treats him every time and just enables the shit out of the pukefucker. The authors also seem to believe that Rhys/Axis is the best they’ve got going for them and DAMN are they wrong. They seem to be under some impression that its super original and super balanced. Oh look blushing tsundere gives smug fuck some sass before he lets him do whatever he wants…while the power gap between their statuses literally could not be wider…yeah that’s not every yaoi ever.

  5. Rita says:

    Gloria/Faps is my new otp <3

  6. Bastet says:

    You know what amazes me about Teahouse? They are two! Emirain, they are two people! Two brains, who can pick each other and throw ideas at each other! Doesn’t it ever happen that one of them writes something that doesn’t make sense, and the other says, ‘hey, wait a minute… this doesn’t make sense’? Do they always just go:

    Emirain 1: “He he he, this will be fucking great!”
    Emirain 2: “Yeah!”

    … ??

    This page doesn’t make sense! What was it Evie heard here that she doesn’t already know about her brother? Is she upset he goes to brothels? But, she knows that. She went herself! Is anything he said here, or taking a whore to the castle, by the way, worse than, say… leaving her alone with their dying father to go fuck, for which she is has been shown to already as upset as she can be with him? How is this now suppose to have an impact??

    Is she upset Rhys was being rude to his future wife? You know, I could believe that if it wasn’t Teahouse, and I don’t think the authors could even conceive of such a thing as anyone being upset with poor Rhys for something like that! -.-

    I guess Evie is just really upset Rhys is stealing her new fave whore, or…

    Yeah, I’m stumped… again!

    • Wanda says:

      I think one of the two who started this comic is now in film school and doesn’t have the time, so they’ve found someone else to color it. Not sure if the coloring person has any input, however. Also, I’ve found that two people working on something is often just as bad as one. Friends not to be as critical as one another as strangers. It’s like preaching to the choir, basically. ESPECIALLY if that choir imitates yaoi, because as we all know, yaoi can be a cesspool of gross tropes and laziness.

      I didn’t get this page either. At first I thought she was freaking out because she saw Gloria with Blue Hair and was like “OH NO NOT BEFORE YOUR WEDDING”. But then that didn’t seem to make any sense. Also she totally knows he goes to a brothel. So is she upset cuz he’s wasted and rude? As if this is some kind of new thing she’s just found out about him? (As if siblings care whether or not the other gets drunk occasionally). Maybe it’s just so she can be a hysterical woman?

      Yeah, I’m gonna go with that one.

      • Bastet says:

        Yeah, you have a point! I don’t really know, after all, how their working process is parted up between them. And you’re right, sometimes it might not help much if you’re two, rather than one – it might just turn into an echo chamber.

    • Bastet says:

      Just to clarify! I think she has all the reasons in the world to be upset with Rhys, of course, no doubt about that!

      It’s their weird… timing, I’m wondering about again, I guess. Why do they think this will have a such an enormous impact when there is nothing further to be upset about more than she already, completely justifiably, is!

      So, yeah, not criticizing Evelyn, but their weird way of creating drama for drama’s sake, even when it doesn’t make sense.

    • The pair is broken down into E and CC. E does the art, while CC does the story and used to do the coloring. The new colorist has no say and I have a hunch they are paid.
      Awhile back when they were answering asks I believe CC said something to the effect of she’ll know what E won’t like and will be prepared to argue for it. So E appears to have veto power but no other say when it comes to the writing. I must admit I’m curious what would upset one but not the other?
      “Hey I want to tease the audience here but they don’t bang until two chapters from now?”
      But you’re correct one reason why this page has no punch is because it is unclear what has upset Evie. My bet is she’s upset that Rhys was being rude to Gloria cause that’s the last thing she’s heard. Though who can fucking say?

    • YonYonYon says:

      Sometimes I forget that riffs aren’t originals, I thought this page makes a lot of sense until I remembered “Ah, yeah, riffs…”

  7. Bastet says:

    Hey, something just struck me, which, in some ways might explain how the authors might have been thinking about this whole thing about Rhys and his sister, and him acting like such an asshole. It’s a small and subtle thing, and easy to miss. But I think the authors actually tried to make all this make sense – it’s only that they failed at it!

    Look here:

    Rhys has just left his father’s death bed, to go relieve his stress as he usually does – with sex. Evelyn rushes after him to make him stay. It’s obvious Rhys doesn’t think his father will really die while he’s away, and as an explanation he offers that ‘he’s done this before, with their mother’.

    This is what is suppose to free him from everybody judging him as an asshole! It wasn’t his fault that his father died sooner than what Rhys’ experiences with dying parents told him he would!! So, it was fully okay for him to go get some stress release, and Evelyn’s unfair anger with him for this unfortunate miscalculation (for which no one can blame him!!) is what drives him to the state in which he has to drink and be an asshole to everybody!

    None of it is his fault! It’s Evelyn’s fault, and that’s why they think this new page will have such an impact. Evelyn’s further rejection will drive him even deeper down, and we are to feel sorry for this tragic hero, and be patient with his flaws.

    But… It doesn’t make any damn sense from the start!!! Even if going to the brothel is his usual stress relieving technique, I think you could actually demand he refrain from that for a few measly weeks before and after his father’s death, especially if his sister (who he’s suppose to love so much) asks him for his support!

    And WTF kind of excuse is that? His father has been like that for weeks? He’d done this before with their mother? Yes, because people all die in the same way, so it’s totally safe to calculate that you can fit in a whore or two before it happens -.- Or did he just mean that since he’d already watched his mother die (something Evelyn was apparently too young to remember) it’s now her turn to watch their father die??

    I don’t know. But it struck me that, yes, Emirain does seem to think that the linked to page is explanation enough why Rhys really isn’t an asshole, and he just acts like this because the women in his life won’t give him a break!

    They tried… It didn’t work!

    • Wanda says:

      Maybe it means he’s used to watching his parents die, so he figures to just check out this time? Like, moping and crying and hanging around didn’t do his mother any good, so he figures “Well, this time around I’m going to have fun while my dad dies because it doesn’t matter anyway).

      I don’t know. That’s all I can think of that makes sense. You’re right though. It’s not very good writing.

      • Bastet says:

        Yeah, that’s as good an explanation as any! The authors would still think it makes him a good, misunderstood guy! :-)

        Yes! There was a time when I thought the writing wasn’t so bad, because I thought we were supposed to take it for what it was. This is clearly an asshole who doesn’t care about his sister and his father, and who just gives his sis a really bad excuse to get away and have fun!

        Not a bad portrait of an asshole, right!

        But then when things start to not make sense, I finally get it! They meant to do a nice guy who’s just misunderstood, and, they really thought this excuse is a decent one, and that the audience will agree!


        Understanding their thought processes I actually start to understand this comic better… which is kind of scary. I don’t like what I see…

  8. RayneofCastamere says:

    And now your sister knows what an asshat you are, King Douche. Gloria has gained another ally for her eventual coup…

  9. Wanda says:

    At first I definitely thought she was scandalized because her brother was alone in a room with Gloria, and maybe she’s super prudey or something. But the panel of her being shocked shows Gloria already walking past her, so I figured it couldn’t be Gloria. But I still have no clue why she’s upset. She already knows he goes to the brothel, since he told her to do the same thing. Is it because he’s drunk? Whoopty shit. Apparently he does that all the time now.

    The worst part of this page is the fucking author’s note, because she was forced to tell them to calm down on the woman hate because Sis totes has the right to be upset. It’s during times like these that I think “You get the fans you deserve”. Don’t want your fans to be self-hating misogynists? Then don’t write misogynist comics! It turns out intelligent, thoughtful people flock to intelligent thoughtful webcomics, and the opposite is just as true. If you are required to calmly explain to fans why they should totes give Eve credit because they’re hating on her so much, there’s a reason– your comic attracts these kinds of people.

    I just think it’s funny that it’s gotten so out of hand that the authors have to address it themselves. Lordy lordy, someone’s finally catching on to how immature their fanbase is.

    • Bastet says:

      Oh, WOW, I missed that author’s note before, or maybe it wasn’t there yet, when I checked last, but… Yeah, I so completely agree with you!

      They created this themselves!!!! It’s not like the misogyny is in any way sudden, and it kind of sucks that they didn’t care to comment on it until it’s a female character that they themselves actually seem to have at least some sympathy for -.- All other shit people have said in the comments was obviously justified then, according to them??

      BTW, a few days ago I saw that a comment criticizing the misogyny had been deleted for using a few harsh words. And people was upset about it. Even if the critic didn’t agree with the comic, they could have been polite about it, the fans thought, and so… deletion!

      But no one stops to think about just how “polite” it is to bash women again and again, in comment after comment, day after day… That’s okay, but be so upset about this that you let slip a few swearwords… Deletion!

      Be polite when you criticize raging misogyny, that’s the least they can demand, you know -.-

      • Wanda says:

        For some reason they treat Eve with kid gloves, and I’m not sure why. Like, is it because she’s a pure “good” woman, unlike the “fat” stupid one, the girly stupid wife, the evil bitch sister, the evil bitch prostitute, and the evil bitch fiance? She’s neither stupid (at least not more than anyone else in this comic) nor bitchy, so maybe that’s why they like her? Like, yay, the perfect woman! She’s Rhys’s sister, so she can’t block the boners! That’s a yaoi fangirl’s least hated female character!

        I figure Teahouse fans can’t tell the difference between criticism and trolling. Perhaps I should point them to what Anita Sarkeesian is going through. Criticism=/=Death and rape threats

    • BB says:

      The author’s note BLEW MY MIND. I was already surprised that a lot of the comments were supporting Evie and Gloria and saying Rhys dug his own grave, but the authors themselves having a moment of clarity? My god what is this foul trickery?

      Sadly this is counter-balanced by everyone squeeing in anticipation for Rhys to ‘comfort’ himself with Axel because we were told that there’d be a lot of that in this chapter, yaaaay!

      • Wanda says:

        Maybe this is the first step in their ten step program to becoming better professional artists? WHO KNOWS. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

        After all, the first step is acceptance.

    • RayneofCastamere says:

      They’re…honestly shocked at how misogynistic the fans are? After all of the misogynistic overtones in their work? Really?

    • In my mind the author’s note is the only thing good thing about this page. I’m glad the authors recognize the woman-hate is out of control and address it. I’m going to count it as a wake-up call that they’ve created their own monster and that they’re going to try to deal with it in a more positive way now.

      • Bastet says:

        I’m a bit of a pessimist, and tend to lean toward the ‘believe it when I see it’, but I hope you’re right, and I am wrong!!

  10. Lurker says:

    Teahouse art can be pretty inconsistent in quality and particularly poor when it comes to expressions, but I gotta give them credit for how Evelyn looks in panel five. I wonder if they’re allowing themselves to give her expressions because she’s not supposed to be either sexy or comedy relief…? Too bad that Rhys’ shocked face looks ridiculous next to it. Oh well.

    As for the comments, I do believe that some readers are becoming more socially conscious and aware of the misogyny. Yay?

    • Wanda says:

      I agree. Her face looks convincingly surprised at least. As for Rhys, for some reason these artists are suuuuuper against ever showing a mouth that does not have a cupid’s bow shape, even when it is shocked. Here’s an art tip, from an inferior artist to a superior artist: mouths don’t work like that.

  11. BB says:

    Oh my sweet jesus I was waiting for so long for you to post this because MY GOD;

    1. This is some of the worst paneling I have ever seen from a ‘semi-professional’ comic. Even the fans in the comments wondered where Gloria went off to, and it’s only when you CLOSELY look at panel three that you notice Gloria’s sleeve behind Evie to imply that she’s leaving. No one should ever have to carefully look at small details to see where characters have vanished off to. Not to mention that the same panel reveals that Gloria only opened one side of the double-doors and yet can easily breeze past Evie. Instead of making a magical expanding door how about they use proper story-boarding? (Not to mention I STILL don’t know where Zephyr went.)

    2. This is the two most prominent women in his life storming off in disgust and all we get is some wonky body language and some white motion lines as they leave? Seriously? This was supposed to be the ‘rock bottom’ for Rhys? You couldn’t make this less dramatic if you tried.

    3. The expressions. My god. Rhys looks like a stoned and gaping fish. Now, that makes sense considering that he’s been on a raging bender for the past day or so, but come ON man! Emote! Gloria is fine with the icy contempt, but Evie only looks slightly perturbed rather than deeply disappointed with her only brother.

    4. The colour palette for the bedroom is pretty nice; dark blues with some red, gold, and dark/light wood … but that hallway! GODDAMN. Bright striped wallpaper with blue and white checkered floor? AAGGHH!

    • Anastasia says:

      The thing that really threw me off on this page was Rhy’s hand in the last panel. It looks incredibly odd, and because it takes up so much of the panel, it’s just really jarring.
      Has his index finger been stuck on with glue or something?

    • Wanda says:

      I’m sad they didn’t do the classic maneuver, which would be him grabbing her and her swinging around and slapping him. I would have loved that. Unfortunately, you know all the fans woulda been like “DON’T HURT RHYS-YPOO” and pout about how she’s ruining all the boners.

      But for me, it would have been a Tyrion-slaps-Joffrey moment.

  12. RC says:

    That….is not how you emotionally punch the readers in the feels over a character hitting rock bottom.

  13. Wanda says:

    Also, faps, that first panel of Kaito Shuno is golden. Deviantart in a nutshell! The “print available” thing always makes me laugh, especially when it’s some poorly rendered Sonic OC. XD

  14. cc says:

    Oh TH, once again using the “walking out the door when there is a problem” cliche. Yet AGAIN. Faps I request a video be made of all the panels where a characters leaves/storms out of a room put to music about doors.

    (No you don’t have to make a video, but I’m considering going back and getting ALL of the walk-out panels and see how many there are.)

    The authors really oversold the “hitting rock bottom” thing. Unless it was yet another awful joke about the prince and axis fucking that is to come. I have no idea why they would promise sex in the midst of a scene that is supposed to be read as DRAMATIC and SAD/SOBERING.

    My theory for why Evie is finally saying fuck it is that it COULD be that this is the straw that breaks her or yet another example of how poorly developed every character’s nonsexual relationship is. I won’t lie, the sexual relationships are ALSO poor but the nonsexual ones tank the most since that is where they attempt to draw their character drama from.

    @about paneling
    The pacing of the drama is thrown off and it looks like Prince is too fucking lazy to pick up speed because of how the page is framed.

    They REALLY don’t like showing people moving through a threshold and that’s what kills the sense of motion/speed. If Evie was shown actually moving THROUGH the hall instead of just the door and her retreating clothing it would be much clearer.

    • wanderingaddict says:

      reading through a lot of the other comments, I just got the sickening feeling that they’re trying to set up an opportunity for Axis to come in and be kind/caring and give the two of them pep talks and/or blowjob talks into being better and more competent rulers of the kingdom. character continuity, what’s that? they need to show Axis doing is proper uke/womanly duties now and show him supporting his man… no matter how shitty or dumb that man is being. I’m willing to bet that Axis comes in and cleans Rhys up, the same way he (a prostitute/slave with access to maids and fine tailored clothes, still chose to “shittily” sew Rhys’s clothes back together himself).

      • Bastet says:

        It would be more in keeping with Rhys’ character, as they have shown him so far, if he just has another tantrum, totally turns on Axis, blames him for everything, and throws him in the dungeons/yells ‘off with his head’.

        But I have a feeling too, they won’t go there.

        I kinda feel bad for Axis. Wasn’t as if he asked to be dragged into a family drama of royal proportions.

    • wanderingaddict says:

      that’s the reason for the DRAMATIC and SOBERING – they’re going to try their hand at Axis and Rhys having KAWAII FEELS time right about now, as if you know, the prostitute/slave had actual power in the kingdom.

      • laila says:

        Sadly I would lay actual money that this is used as yet another reason as to why the women in this stupid comic are all evil selfish cold-hearted unsympathetic spoiled whorebitches who JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND the depths of Rhys’s manpain. Even if Evie is let off for it by authorial diktat, Gloria probably won’t be. It’s just another lazy way to try and prove that all the genuinely caring and romantic relationships in this story are the gay ones and aren’t all these horrible bitches just totally blinkered and egotistical amirite? But look how much Axis totally cares deep down for Rhyssie-baby’s stupid entitled ass and puts up with his endless whiny poor-little-rich-boy bullshit – in his own insufferably irritating tsundere way, of course! Axis would never walk out on Rhys and his entirely self-inflicted emo angst when he needed him, not like that heartless cow Gloria! Man love forever! Take that, women!

        • wanderingaddict says:

          hahaha omg I never even thought of that! that’s TRUE! how many guys storm out on other guys in this comic? like, none? even Atros and Linneaus just mope slowly out after the conversation dies, nothing more!

    • BB says:

      To be SLIGHTLY fair – I can’t believe I said that – the walking out actually makes a bit of sense.

      Gloria’s leaving because she’s so disgusted with him that she’s over his pathetic whiny bullshit.

      Evie’s leaving because she’s experiencing ‘I am so done with you’ as well but from crushing disappointment.

      Both ladies walking out and leaving him to rot in his own self-inflicted squalor is perfect.

      • cc says:

        To extent, yes, but that’s what has happened with nearly every single one of the arguments between characters.

        I guess what makes it frustrating is that it feels like everyone walks out instead of staying and actually TALKING about the problems. It’s “no wonder” all the assholes are still assholes.

    • In the bad webcomic wiki review I listed 7 times where characters stormed out. There’s probably a few more by now.

      Yeah sex at this juncture would be a bad idea but my bet? They don’t give a fuck.

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