Update for 9/25/14!

SFW!  This riff of prostitutes may be my masterpiece!

Let’s Hateo Kaito Rapeo!

Prostitutes r’ Us

…Okay so this riff is hardly a masterpiece it’s just really dumb.

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34 Responses to Update for 9/25/14!

  1. BB says:

    HRRK … NGGH … THIS PAGE IS SO AWFUL I’M ACTUALLY CRINGING

    For the love of sweet baby jesus, a comic based around sex that can’t portray sexual tension or passion is a waste of EVERYONE’S TIME!

    I’m gonna fucking break this down

    1. Let’s look at the first two panels. The art itself is terrible – Axis has anti-yaoi hands that are tiny and Rhys looks like his nose broke – but these two just shared a passionate kiss on just the last page. Rhys is on the verge of a mental breakdown and he’s got the only thing that can distract him sitting right there.

    So obviously this is the best place to evaporate all of the emotion, right? Poof!

    If you wanted to make this scene emotionally-charged use some fucking body language! Have Rhys be digging his fingers into Axis’s clothes, or look frustrated that the kiss is over, or cringe about Axis bringing up the worst topic at the worst time. Not TWO PANELS of him turning into a doll during the ‘rock bottom’ of his life.

    2. BAM! MASSIVE ZOOM OUT FOR NO REASON!

    Nevermind that the motion of Rhys shucking off his robe could easily be done with a closer shot – allowing more sexy detail and FACIAL REACTIONS – but instead use a wide shot used for establishing a scene!

    3. BAM! MASSIVE ZOOM IN FOR NO GOOD REASON!

    Now the body language is okay here, but god, the expressions. Rhys is like ‘let us perform this action humans call sex’ and Axis is like ‘derp’.

    Anyhoo, comics as an art form use a series of pictures to carry motion and feeling from each panel to the next. Imagine if panel four came directly after panel one. Both are flawed but the sexual tension is maintained.

    4. BAM! MASSIVE ZOOM OUT AGAIN FOR NO REASON!

    Remember what I just said above about panels needing to portray movement? How in the epic fuck did Axis get from being right in Rhys’s face to pulling away so sharply that Rhys faceplants? Wouldn’t it be easier – and more in character – for Axis to shove him off?

    Now the massive zoom out does the job of fizzling out the tension which adds to the ‘joke’, but being so zoomed out you miss out in the facial reactions that are the core of comedy. Image if you could see a massive ‘WTF’ expression on Rhys’s face right now while Axis rocks a troll face.

    5. BAM! MASSI– oh wait they’re actually taking their fingers off the camera controls.

    Still why the epic amount of space between them? If the comic was trying to indicate sudden coldness or disinterest that would work, but this is their ‘scene’ apparently.

    Also WAY TO BE UTTERLY TRANSPARENT IN DRAWING OUT THE TENSION, GUYS. My god they’ve been dragging this out for weeks! STOP IT.

    And dammit if you’re gonna have a butt in the scene at least make it good butt! Also I have concerns for Rhys’s spine.

    TL;DR – This page is terrible

    • cc says:

      Apparently she is going off to animation, what’re your thoughts on that?

    • Bastet says:

      And dammit if you’re gonna have a butt in the scene at least make it good butt! Also I have concerns for Rhys’s spine.

      Rhys is an Escher-boy!

    • It is pretty bad. I think what’s the central piece of how bad this page is, is the 2nd panel. (Hence why I blew it up.) That expression is one of a person who has been doing tedious computer work for hours as in it is simply the face at rest.

      I didn’t think about it in terms of sexual tension but that’s a great point. This couple is supposed to be the most sexually charged/intense/passionate one in the whole cast but here the whole scene is a big wet noodle.

  2. Alexei says:

    Aw hell, my favorite comedy is going on hiatus. I liked Emorains detailed art and psychedelic colors but now its like they are half assing everything and not trying to improve.

  3. RayneofCastamere says:

    This comic is so devoid of…anything. That’s why so much bullshit drama is packed in, to attempt to add something. Unfortunately, this comic is a black hole that only sucks anything of substance into the event horizon and nothing good can ever emerge.

  4. Wanda says:

    Wait, so now they’re NOT going to bone? MAKE UP YOUR MIND, AUTHORS. Either your characters use sex to fix their problems or they don’t. I sweat to God this comic spend the majority of its time promising shit it never delivers, and maybe that’s why I have such intense disdain for it. What, you’re going to tell us why Pimpy hates Pinky? OH WAIT NEVERMIND. MORE ANGST. Oh, you’re going to have two characters bone? OH WAIT NEVERMIND. Oh, you’re going to show the backstory between Redhead and his weird identical sister? OH WAIT NEVERMIND, JUST REED BEING A CREEP.

    This whole comic is playing hard to get, and I HATE THAT. STOP BEING A TEASE.

    • Thera says:

      With the amount of questions being answered they might as well have called it ‘twin peens’… only twin peaks had more plot that this…

    • Bastet says:

      I honestly think they’re doing this on purpose. They might think this is exciting plot twists to delightfully surprise the readers with, and something which will keep the audience in suspense, so they’ll keep coming back. It’s kind of “soap opera baits”?

      It does seem to work, annoyingly enough, because I agree I find it immensely irritating. Maybe because I never watch soap operas for mainly that reason. I get very frustrated when nothing is ever resolved, and things just go on, and finally give up watching.

      Well, it’s something that is hard to complain about, as well, because they can always retort with how you’re greedy, impatient, and entitled about free entertainment online if you ask about scenes that has been promised/hinted at forever, only to never get it, or get something completely different.

      • cc says:

        No, the problem is that there is no HOOK or consistency to effectively create that hook.

        It’s the difference between playing a game where people follow the rules and there are risks and that one obnoxious asshole who changes the rules whenever they so much as THINK they are losing.

        There is no payoff to the drama of TH because none of the risks matter or have weight. None of the developments mean anything since they are not surprising and they are not well-constructed!

        • Bastet says:

          Oh, I didn’t say it’s what they are actually doing, or that they are doing it well. But, yes, I do think that’s what they think they are doing! My point is that they are mistaking inconsistencies, abrupt scene changes, and ‘teasing’ the audience – for clever plot twists and creating suspense.

          A few pages back, when they revealed how Axis reacted when Rhys came into the room, their page comment was something like “We know you didn’t expect this…” I think they attempted a plot twist, or a surprise, but, as you say, since, to create this “plot twist”, they conveniently forgot to be consistent with Axis’ established character traits… Yeah, it didn’t work.

          So, yeah, I agree, I don’t think stuff is either surprising or well-constructed, but it seems they think they are. Their plot twists are mistakes, because they don’t work, but these things are still deliberate, and seems to have been attempted for this purpose. I think they have thought about it, they’re just really, really bad at it! :-)

          And when it comes to their goal, making their audience stay, well, these “hooks” seem to work, stupid as it is, because… they do stay and never seem to complain about these things from a writing/pacing perspective. Beats me why, but… there it is.

        • Bastet says:

          Ooops, botched a HTML tag and made most of the post bolded…>_<

        • This is another beautiful way to put it.

          The worst drama we have truly seen is that Rhys’ sister has gotten mad at him.

          HE’S A FUCKING KING THERE IS SO MUCH MORE SERIOUS SHIT TO EXPLORE BUT THAT’S THE FUCKING WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO HIM? FUCKING SPARE ME! I could write you 50 more serious conflicts that could befall a god damn King, but the comic is so myopically focused on petty little interrelationship dramu they can’t fucking recognize that.

          So there’s 0 risk in this comic, and we’ve had 0 payoff throughout. Does not make for an interesting story.

    • I mean this COULD work if Rhys learns the error of his ways that instead of helping him his compulsive need for sex has caused him problems and he works on controlling himself. However Rhys seems to believe he has done nothing wrong, hell I wouldn’t be that surprised if he has no idea why his sister was initially mad at him. I highly doubt that Axis is going to really TEACH him anything here either. He’s probably just going to cuddle him until he cries himself to sleep in a totes tender moment. Then the next morning Axis makes him breakfast and they bang.

      I think you hit it on the money though that nothing gets resolved and more and more things get added and the authors think they’re building some awesome tension. The only thing I can think of that got resolved was Axis finding out Rhys was the king and that plot line fizzled in the most pathetic manner.

      Teasing is a great way to keep audiences invested but if you only EVER tease they’re going to be pissed off. To be honest I don’t think we’ll get many resolutions when it comes to Teahouse I think they’re uninterested in such things.

  5. Bastet says:

    Faceplanting on a slab of marble can’t be good for your face… Well, that panel in the original page basically sums up my feelings for the whole comic by now!

    As I said up there, I think I see what they’re going for, surprises and plot twists, and revealing things about their characters we would have never thought about them, and so on… It’s just… They really, really don’t know how to do these things, and it just… do… not… work!

    Well, they’re going on a hiatus again, so it will be a while before we know where they’re going with this, and then I’m not sure they will ever manage to show where they are going with it.

    It seems one of them got a new job, so it’s understandable the comic is set aside (though didn’t they create a buffer a while ago??) but I was almost a bit sad at the news, surprising myself, because I’ve been so very not enthusiastic about the comic for a long time. But then I realized… I’ll miss the discussions here!

  6. YonYonYon says:

    Because I recently bought a new tablet, I just needed an excuse to draw something. http://i.imgur.com/KL54r6t.jpg I redrew Teahouse’s page, because these guys are so boring, I got mad.

    Like, seriously, what the fuck? Where’s Rhys’ promised break down? What the fuck is Axis doing? They’re acting as if they know the script… or are just douchebags. “Sup, dude! Sorry your dad is ded. Now let’s go and do something better” what the fuck, Axis?! No actual reaction to Rhys’ mental condition. Maybe it’s because there’s NO actual condition in Rhys’ mind except for “Beep, I was made to fuck, beep, now fuck me! beep-blip”

    ARGH!

    So, tried to add something into this page.

    • Bastet says:

      That… was like a thousands time better!!! Emirain do have a very weird view of “rock bottom”, but this was like they were actual people or something! O_o :-)

      Also, I see clearly now, when there’s something to compare to, how annoying that random zooming out is.

      Also makes much more sense here that Rhys would turn to sex as some kind of desperate measure, rather than the wanton seduction he tries in the original.

      Did Axis ever fuck Rhys, though?? I think he tried once, but quickly got the tables turned on him???

      • cc says:

        In the sextras they have sex.

        • Bastet says:

          Ah, yes, I know they have sex. I was just referring to Yaoi’s obsession with Semes and Ukes, tops and bottoms. So far, I think, Rhys only topped Axis, and Axis only tried to top Rhys once, but never made it, so to speak, if I remember correctly. So, I wondered if they were actually going for a switch of the positions here, where Axis actually gets to penetrate Rhys, or if that already happened, and I missed it. It seems a rare thing in Yaoi-land :-)

      • cc says:

        Also you get glimpses of them having sex (well Axis being assaulted) in the 1st chapter.

      • Yeah he tried once but the tables were turned on him. I have not seen the sextras in chapters 4 and 5, but I’m pretty sure in 4 Axis bottoms as well and I would be surprised if he didn’t bottom in 5.

    • cc says:

      “EMOSHUNS?! That’s not sexaaaay!!!”

      No but in seriousness Yon you nailed it real good. Delicious emotions.

    • Yeah this page is milllllllles of improvement. I find it odd that they call it a soap oprea but their conflicts rarely result in any kind of melodrama. They just storm out of arguments and nothing happens as a result. Here it’s just more soggy disappointment.

  7. Spooki da skellington says:

    How not to emote: a novel

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