The end of Rory and Alister Dorian Reed the Second…beckons.

So how do you fail to hook up Lord Mouth Breather and a Blushing Virgin?

Cross-posted on the tumblr.

As is tradition have a weird shipping picture:

Now let’s talk Reed/Rory storyline but first let’s talk Rory/Remy since that’s supposed to be key to this story.

So let’s pick apart the Remy/Rory relationship.

Remy and Rory never liked each other.  In fact Rory has always been scared of Remy and tried to get away from her.  Speaking of which, if Rory has enough self-preservation to leave Remy, why does Rory never mention to Atros what a psycho she is?  Sure Atros could blow him off, but he never tries?

Remy just wants to hurt Rory because she likes hurting people… and yet she doesn’t attempt to hurt anybody who isn’t Rory?  I mean she hurt Lilith by taking away her client but you can argue that was to~prove~ she could be a sex worker. If characterized correctly she would want to manipulate and shit on anybody she could.  At least try to zone in on easy prey.  She would probably latch onto AT LEAST Linnaeus as another easily torn apart little waif.  While Axis isn’t as easy a target she manipulates him SOLELY to get at Rory instead of messing with him too?  She would also notice that Rory is intimidated by Mercutio and try to get palsy with him but lol who’s Mercutio again? I call bullshit on all of this.

Why does Rory have a sexual attachment to her?  Since she looks just like him is it because he himself is narcissistic? HOOHOO I JOKE CAUSE WHY WOULD THEY BE THAT SELF-WARE?   It seems as if Remy has attempted to manipulate Rory sexually from at least adolescence…but it never progressed to her ~touching him~? Why? Remy obviously have no qualms about having sex before she was 18. Unfortunately according to Rory’s personality he would probably stop pushing her away at some point, especially considering he’s supposed to have a sexual attachment to her.  By the way Remy’s only way of manipulating people is through her sexuality? …That is hugely misogynistic way to create a powerful female villain. Afterall women’s only power is sex, but sex is also an evil nasty thing…in a story about sexy gay sex workers.

Speaking of which, if his childhood was saturated with Remy’s sexuality why is he so embarrassed and ignorant of it all? If he lived in the bubble the author’s are putting forth he probably wouldn’t even think that incest is a bad thing.  Another strike against you.

However if characterizing this well, do you know what a sexually manipulative narcissistic young woman screams of? Heavy childhood sexual abuse.  She tries to turn something that caused her pain into a weapon.  She is angry with Rory for trying to sell his own body later in life because he didn’t have to suffer through what she did by virtue of being born a boy.  Even if unintentional Remy would see it as a slap in the face to her.  Though the authors did not consider that an option at all. She’s simply born evil.

What sticks out like a sore thumb here is that Rory seems invested in Remy outside of a sexual fascination.  He seems betrayed when Remy doesn’t defend him when Axis insults him…NOW THAT IS AGGRESSIVELY STUPID!  Remy has done nothing but try to make Rory miserable so WHY ON EARTH would Rory be looking at her to defend him? JESUS FUCK!

At the end when Remy apologizes…why does Rory buy it for even a second.  If Remy has always been ~a narcissistic emotional sadist~ she’s probably pulled the same bullshit with Rory a million times. Rory has no investment in this relationship. It was not once good, it won’t benefit their mother to know they’re getting along, there is no reason why Rory would  want them to ~work out.~ So there is no reason why he would throw caution to the wind for Remy’s sake here.  The only thing that helps make Rory’s characterization make sense is the fact that he’s a boy born without a brain.  Keep that in mind during this other rant.

Reed/Rory

What the authors want us to buy here is that Rory is just so adorably naive that he falls in love with the first person who has sex with him since Rory views sex as the ultimate expression of looooove. …I’d more readily buy that if Rory had hooked up with him at a bar but he’s a fucking prostitute.  He consciously sold himself into sexual slavery, he lives and eats with other sex workers, and he is AWARE that Reed is PAYING HIM for his services.  Rory doesn’t have to give up on love but to fall fast and hard for a client who’s said 3 words to him is asinine.  To make this believable Rory would have to be heavily delusional and I need to be heavily intoxicated!

So when Reed comes out to say that he’s only using Rory for sex this should pop his enormous delusion bubble.  Reed is no exception to the clients he probably hears about all the time.  With this new light shed on the scenario Rory should be looking over their past interactions in a new light.  Any of you folks date somebody and when the relationship is over, that’s when you suddenly realize so many more negative things about your previous partner? I sure have. Rory should be thinking, “I broke my back baking and setting up that pristine cupcake mountain and that behemoth has the gall to NOT EVEN BE POLITE about declining to try one?  SCREW THAT GUY!”

On Reed’s end we are supposed to see that Reed does not want to go to the trouble of finding another ~perfect virgin~ for him and him alone.  Yet did Reed even clue in that Rory was upset? There’s no reason why Reed would think his actions were unjustified, he was merely making the nature of the relationship clear.  Even if Reed knew he overstepped his bounds, he’d probably merely apologize next session in his robotic way. What Reed did is not the equivalent of a teenager being mad their significant other sat with SOMEONE ELSE at lunch….So why does he rush to his friend on how to repair the relationship and accept the relationship needs to be treated as if he’s in a courtship with a different gender?  UGH WHATEVER!

When Reed comes back with a bouquet of “keep sucking my dick”  Rory logically would keep him at arm’s length. Reed has not stated he’s sorry or that he views the relationship as more.  So why would Rory IMMEDIATELY revert back to his swoons?  Oh but it only gets more stupid.  When Reed says a friend suggested he treat Rory as a girl. Rory flips his lid.  WAIT GIRLS LIKE FLOWERS!? THEN FUCK FLOWERS! WHY WOULD I EVER LIKE A THING GIRLS LIKE!!!!! …BY THE WAY BAKING IS MORE MACHO THAN BENCH-PRESSING A RHINO RIGHT?  I’d like it if they tried to highlight that Rory is in denial about his slightly feminine interests but nope they’re going for a “He’s not like OTHER ukes” vibe.

NEWS FLASH: THE VAST MAJORITY OF UKES HATE BEING EQUATED TO WOMEN, HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED THIS?

You know who really hates the trope of, “It’s no longer romantic if you cared enough to ask advice instead of making it up all on your own”? I FUCKING DO! So that’s the last we’ll ever see of Rory’s backbone! Totally wasted on something that doesn’t even make sense for him! Wowzers!

Right here Reed would probably give up on the notion of pleasing Rory and just offer him some more money to keep him compliant.  When Reed asked for advice earlier it was just to avoid having to find another willing virgin.  How comes now he is so enamored with Rory he alters his body in a way he dislikes in order to please him?  Reed may appreciate that Rory went to crazy lengths to keep him happy…but Reed does not seem to have a high opinion of the lower class.  He would see it as OUTRAGEOUS for a prostitute to expect him to do more than pay him and not disembowel him on a whim.

So Rory is happy that Reed cut his hair…but again Reed has not stated an interest in something more to the relationship or apologized for the times he upset Rory.  After Reed’s failed attempt before why does Rory think this is anything more than a ploy to get on his good-side or even that he’s lying about doing it for Rory?

Must be the fact that you cannot accept Rory as anything less than inconsolably dumb.

So they’ve had sex a grand total of…6 times and Reed wants him to be a personal sex slave OH I’M SORRY wants to get pseudo gay married to him.  Rory in no way is hesitant?  He’s 18 and he’s promising himself FOREVER AND EVER to never touch another human and live with this socially crippled and difficult man the rest of his life….A man who OWNS HIM and may very well not feel under obligation to even FEED HIM. You don’t have to have commitment issues to want to at least think this over.  On the flip side I can sorta picture Reed doing this. He’d probably think it more convenient to have him around.

Okay so what the fuck was up with Reed believing Remy over Rory? No really!  Reed was irate about how Rory got a blackeye from Axis, did Rory not tell Reed that Remy orchestrated the whole thing? …Or even worse, did Rory not realize that Remy orchestrated the whole thing? FUCK this kid is dumb!  If Reed knew Remy was behind it, it would be supremely stupid for Reed to believe the woman who has been obsessed with ruining Rory’s life….over the man happy to be his sex slave.  Yet if Reed didn’t know it, it still seems farfetched that he’d defer to a stranger’s claim than the man he wants to pseudo marry.

Also why does Reed have SUCH an issue about sexual purity?  My bet is its supposed to be some germaphobe hang-up but…STDs don’t exist in this universe.  Besides the butt is full of poop, isn’t that more of a health hazard than the fact another dick was once there years ago?  I’d more readily believe he wants Rory to stop eating so he can’t produce poop over how UNCLEAN sex makes him!

Is it some kind of ~spiritual sexual purity~ thing he’s after? If so that’s world’s of condescending thinly-veiled misogynistic cock pus!  As a man I can sleep with as many whores as I like but as soon as you look at another man you have sinned and no other person will want you!  Oh and the fact that by sleeping with Rhys it made his “mild ocd worse” is painfully moronic, keep it away from me.

So Reed has this grand revelation that he does trust Rory and rushes back to scoop Rory’s ginormous dick into his arms and all is well.  Rory of course instantly forgives that Reed has broken his heart for the what 3rd time?

So why should they live happily ever after?

Reed is a very privileged man who doesn’t naturally think of other’s feelings.  I’d think it’d be in character of him to have Rory as his adorable like house slave but eventually get kinda bored and get exclusive contracts with any other virgin prostitutes he finds.  He’d still demand that Rory not make eye-contact with other men but run around as he pleases.  Rory would be powerless to do much of anything about it and fall into a deep depression.  Wouldn’t it be nice if Reed gets a character arc on how he views the lower class? HAHA yeah right!

Oh but stop speculating and look at the elephant in the room Faps….the adorable twins they raise.  First up, there is no reason why Reed would want children.  Germaphobes and children DON’T MIX!  Besides Reed is not one for social interaction no less all the time and energy it goes into raising two helpless human beings to adulthood.  The authors have made a few references as to how Reed just looks through and ignores people he doesn’t want to have sex with…so putting him in charge of children seems irresponsible at best.

Oy, oy, oy.
TL;DR

For Remy/Rory it would make no sense as to why Rory would want to maintain their relationship or believe her at any point. While it makes no sense as to why Remy is so fixated on Rory.

For Reed/Rory it is mindbogglingly idiotic that Rory trips over himself to fall for Reed despite Reed’s multiple transgressions without apologies.  While it is also mindbogglingly idiotic that Reed gives any REAL shit for Rory.

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35 Responses to The end of Rory and Alister Dorian Reed the Second…beckons.

  1. Wanda says:

    I will be adding my own rant to yours, Faps, paragraph by paragraph. It’s so cathartic, isn’t it?

    Now that Rory and Reed have had sex, Rory is all in on Reed.

    That’s because you have sex with a woman ONCE (Rory qualifies as a woman in this comic, at least according to the authors) and she, like, totally wants to get married and have your babies. That’s how ladies work, ESPECIALLY sex workers. Goddamn sex workers want to marry ALL their clients.

    doesn’t stop Rory from being super talkative. After sex Reed finally shuts him down with, “You do understand that I pay to fuck you, not listen to you talk, right?”

    Swoon. What a gentleman. No wonder Rory’s in love with him!

    Rory asks if sex is really the only reason Reed comes to see him. To which Reed replies, “Of course it is. You’re not even my type.”

    I can’t, guys. I just literally can’t with this. It’s just so mind-bogglingly, brain-explodingly DUMB. OF COURSE SEX IS THE ONLY REAON YOU FUCKING IDIOT. YOU ARE A PROSTITUTE. UUUUUUUGH. And Reed is fucking PAYING to fuck Rory despite having other options. HOW DOES “NOT BEING MY TYPE” EVEN MAKE SENSE?????

    *grabs alcohol from fridge and drinks it*

    Remy sees Axis comes back to the Teahouse to clear his room (since he’s moving into the castle) and she sets it up so that Rory walks in on Axis finger banging her in the kitchen.

    Overly complicated plans always work out! “All I have to do is get Axis to finger bang me in the kitchen and I’ll show that Rory who’s boss!”

    Reed, having caught onto the fact that Rory was not happy with him, decides to ask Rhys for advice on how to “romance someone.”

    Hey, here’s a small tip: don’t fucking insult people you like. Any normal human being would know that. Reed is officially the dumbest person in this comic, and I don’t know how that’s even possible, considering how dumb everyone is.

    That’s when Rhys gives Reed this key piece of advice: “Buy him flowers. Give him chocolates. You’ve basically gotta treat this one like a girl because if you don’t, you’re going to hurt his feelings and he’s going to sleep with someone else like your last courtesan did and then you’re going to have to find yet another virgin. Dig?”

    I have no comment. It’s just… this fucking guy. THIS. FUCKING GUY.

    Tells him that he’s (Rory’s) NOT girly and that Reed’s an asshole for thinking such.

    Being a girl sucks, doesn’t it? Girls are the worst thing you can possibly be.

    Remy making a plea to Atros about how she wants to be a courtesan because she enjoys “all sorts of sex” and how it would “this ultimately saves Atros money,” which of course wins Atros over.

    Why did she not just become a whore in the first place then? Why even BOTHER with the maid shit? And how would it save Atros money? Cuz she’s doing it for free? And who would do it for free?

    Axis, who never liked that little prick anyway, gets into a scuffle with Rory and ends up punching Rory, giving him a black eye. Shortly after, Lilith comes to Rory’s defense and smacks Axis around and then is kicked out of the Teahouse by Argent.

    The man gets a slap on the wrist for shitty behavior. The Woman gets tossed out on her ass. Sounds like another day in Sexist Teahouse Land.

    Rory tells Reed that he thinks he’s gay. That when he was growing up, that his sister used to torment him by flaunting her body in front of him.

    Read: She wore shorts sometimes and Rory blamed his boner on her.

    Reed asks Rory how he ended up at the Teahouse (and for those of you keeping score, this is the first time Reed’s shown any interest in Rory’s actual life)

    WHAT A FUCKING GENTLEMAN. Rory, you fucking deserve this guy, I swear to God.

    Aware of Reed’s hang ups, Remy tells Reed that she and Rory have slept together.

    Oh hey, two hot identical twins fucking. This is UNACCEPTABLE. Surely no man would EVER find that hot.

    Unable to deny the kiss, Rory begs Reed to forgive him. Swears up and down that they didn’t sleep together. That after they kissed Rory threw Remy out. But it’s too late. Unable to handle this new bit of information, Reed leaves without Rory.

    Yes, let me believe this random chick I’ve never even talked to over the word of a boy I’m supposedly in love with. MAKES SENSE.

    BTW, Reed also buys Remy’s contract while he’s at it and then sends her off to live in a monastery in the mountains with a bunch of nuns. Wah waaaaah.

    Bad women get sent to nunneries. Why not just let her do her thing at the Teahouse still? She’s not bothering anyone. OH RIGHT. Because women being sexual is a BAD THING and we must stop it at ALL COSTS, even if it’s none of our business and has zero effect on our lives. Fuck this comic.

    Reed buys Rory a bakery to run and Rory becomes the best pastry chef in the country while Reed continues peddling weapons of mass destruction.

    EVERY PERSON AT TEAHOUSE IS THE BEST PERSON TO EVER DO THE THING THEY LIKE, EVER. I mean, wtf. Rory’s got the BEST BAKERY and Axis has got the BEST BLACKSMITH SHOP and dear God, what a bunch of fucking Gary Stus. What’s wrong with making some cupcakes in a nice shop at the corner? Why do they have to be the BEST CUPCAKES?

    They also end up having babies. If you’re thinking mpreg, stop. Don’t be that person. They get a surrogate and have twin boys, one who’s obviously like Rory and the other’s eerily similar to Reed. It’s as stupidly cute as you imagine.

    Because no romance is complete without babies. But hey, at least the kingdom therapists will stay in business, fixing all the goddamn issues these kids will surely have once they grow up. Of course, children are clones of their parents, and they only exist to be cute accessories for the OTP. I also don’t understand how surrogacy is even possible. First of all, you can’t COMBINE SPERM from two different people to make one baby. That’s not how science works. Also, there’s no science available for surrogates, which means someone is going to have to fuck some woman, and it’s certainly not going to be Rory. SO HOW THE HELL DOES THIS EVEN WORK? Oh right, it’s Yaoi Land. Science need not apply.

    because the entire point of it isn’t who’s telling the truth (Rory or Remy) it’s that Reed cares enough about Rory to believe him and be with him.

    God I hope Remy’s telling the truth. Then at least Rory will have gotten one good fuck in this life after lying in the dark in missionary position with Lord Mouthbreather for the rest of eternity.

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS COMIC SO MUCH.

    • Thera says:

      Well, to be fair, these days they can remove the DNA(cell core specifically) from an eggcel and replace it with other DNA, but Teahouse’s tech level is NOWHERE NEAR THAT.

      So basically, Either rory or reed has put their dick in a woman, which completely ruins their whole issue of verginity and ocdness and whatever.

    • YonYonYon says:

      As I’ve read somewhere, it’s possible to have twins from different fathers. It’s rare, but still possible. Maybe after a threesome or something…

      Sooo, maybe they just jerked off and put their semen into a VERY fertile woman? I dunno

      • Wanda says:

        Well, with twins there is a very small chance it could happen, but they’d have to be fraternal twins (in yaoi land, everyone’s identical, even boy/girl twins). Since it is two eggs being released at the same time, there is a chance that, if two men put it in one after the other that one of their sperm could get into one egg and another into the other egg. But the chances of that happening are just… no. Like, first you’d have to have the two eggs there in the first place, right? And how could you even ensure that happened? The woman would probably just get pregnant with one baby that was either Rory or Reed’s.

        I’m not a biologist, so I’m not sure how it works. I know rabbits have two uteruses, so, like, it could happen with rabbits? XD

        Is it too much to ask for them to just have one frickin’ baby? Of course not. They have to have TWINS so that one can take after one dude and the other after the other. Because children are just clones of their parents and have no distinct, unique personalities of their own. GAWD.

        • YonYonYon says:

          Oh no, I’m not trying to protect them. I’m trying to save my mind, because

          It’s as stupidly cute as you imagine.

          uuuuugh! Who could say something like this?! It’s the same as *wink-wink* *nudge-nudge* shit

    • wanderingaddict says:

      what grinds my gears to no end is, like, Rory keeps chattering away despite Reed “clearly” having a bad day; now, let’s stop back and think about this for a moment.

      this is a high-class “brothel” (puke). the authors may not realize this, but at least all of us do: this is a place where the elite courtesans work. courtesans, as in people with great social grace, adept manipulation, attention to social cues, charisma, whatever. Rory, in theory, would have to have at least something along those lines to even work there – else why the fuck would Atros even bother hiring him?? “virginity”?? fucking pls.

      okay, so take that and then lets set it beside Rory’s past interactions with Reed. Rory has never seen the man speak. he has never been allowed to speak. Rory, when nervous, does not chatter. we have fucking seen this happen! we have SEEN Rory NOT SPEAK to people as his go-to coping skill! even when he DOES like people, he doesn’t speak to them! THERE IS LITERALLY NO REASON FOR HIM TO BE “CHATTERING” AWAY.

      but pfft character consistency and this fucking comic? no fucking way.

      also, your comment on Lilith getting kicked out for defending Rory; lawlz! let’s look at that further eh?

      so here, Axis, already living at the Palace, goes back; Axis is no longer top earner, Axis no longer works there, Axis is harassing the other workers. Lilith steps forward and defends one of the workers that is getting picked on. this worker is a slight, frail, 18 year old boy who has been there all of X months; Lilith, one of the high earners, knowing Axis, at least equal to Axis is power and position, a woman who is SLEEPING WITH THE BOSS…

      gets kicked out by Argent. the bodyguard. she gets kicked out for defending one of her fellow whores.

      … yeah.

      • wanderingaddict says:

        I mean oh my god I can’t let this go! LILITH, a woman whose room was taken away by Rory, a woman who has been struggling to win the affections of a confused fuckwit who keeps sleeping with her but remains romantically interested in the asinine pink-haired drag queen on the third floor, a woman who appears to be the ONE FUCKING COURTESAN IN THE HOUSE who ISN”T a poor sad noble running away from their “hard” life, a woman who likes sex, a woman who is just trying to do the best that she fucking can, the only way she knows how…

        this woman demonstrates compassion, actual compassion for the shithead she’s in love with; she demonstrates confidence, self-regard, power, control, beauty, disdain for activities she does not want to do, speaks her mind, is completely unafraid to say no to men, totally willing to do what she needs to do to succeed…

        this woman forgives Rory for “stealing” her room, at least enough to come to his defense when Axis shows up. she is the only person who demonstrates, of her own volition concern for the people around her, EVEN WHEN IT DOESN’T DIRECTLY BENEFIT HER. she even demonstrates concern for her romantic partner on her own without anyone telling her to do so!!

        I mean holy shit, this woman is like the one, true, healthy character. the one single person who isn’t naive waifu, who isn’t asshole seme, who isn’t pathetic uke trash – and they just shit on her every fucking chance they get. they just shit, and shit, and shit on the one character that isn’t a brain-dead moron, the one character with any sense of self worth, the one character who actively tries to change her situation.

        like oh my god. there’s so much here, about this one line with Lilith, that it just blows my mind.

        • I’m with that one anon we should start a JusticeforLilith hashtag. Poor fucking Lilith.

          • laila says:

            I actually had a dream, an actual literal dream, involving a hall full of people loudly demanding justice for Lilith. THAT IS HOW PISS-IRRITATED THIS STUPID SUMMARY MADE ME. I AM ACTUALLY DREAMING ABOUT IT.

            Then someone tortured either Kaito or Shuno by trapping them in a giant water tank. I think I spend way too long on this site.

        • Sunfish says:

          STANDS AND APPLAUDS

        • Wanda says:

          You know, every time someone complains about m/m pairings of straight men in television and movies, the excuse is always “Because they have more sexual chemistry than they do with the women!”. Well, that’s why I ship Lilith with the other women in this comic. Because there is no sexual chemistry anywhere else. Poor Lilith. I hope she starts her own brothel and outperforms Atros’s Teahouse.

      • BUT RORY IS IN LOOOOOOOOOVE SO HE SUDDENLY FEELS FREE TO GIVE HIM HIS LIFE STORY….even though the only thing he knows about Reed is that he wants a virgin. YEAH OKAY COOL!

        PS – I will be forever mad at the huge difference between dealing with Axis and Lilith.

      • laila says:

        And just where was Argent while all this was supposedly going down, anyway? In the bathroom? Polishing her sword? Doing word finds in the lounge? Emiran, Argent has one job. ONE FUCKING JOB. That job is making sure that this sort of thing – insecure loud-mouthed bastards taking out their frustrations on the staff – doesn’t happen, and precisely nothing else. Why was it left up to Lilith – who is also one of the people she’s being paid to protect! – to break shit up when Argent should have stepped in and stopped Axis from so much as laying a finger on Rory in the first place?

        If anyone should be out on their ear as a result of this shitshow it’s Argent, because up to this point she’s been called upon to do precisely jack and shit save stand in the background and glower, and the one time she’s actually needed to do anything more than that she just watches it happen and then pins the blame on the woman who did exactly the thing she was being PAID to do, because she clearly wasn’t about to risk her manicure by doing it. Argent should be the one to lose her job here, because on the evidence she’s clearly absolutely fucking awful at it.

        The one positive is that frankly Lilith was always way too good to play second fiddle to a spineless, simpering idiot like Pinky anyway, and would be much better off for getting as far away from Teahouse as possible and letting Atros continue to merrily run the place into the ground without her. Maybe she could set up as the madam of an actual brothel, not a thinly-disguised live-in dating agency for neon-haired morons. That would be an interesting twist.

        • Wanda says:

          Argent is just Atros’s lackey. She doesn’t do anything Atros doesn’t want her to do. So part of me thinks that Atros purposely told her to let it happen and then throw Lilith out on her ass, because he’s been nothing but a total shitheadd to her. Argent has no ability to think for herself either, because, you know, LADY PARTS. Women aren’t allowed agency in this story unless they’re “narcissist sociopaths” like Remy.

      • Sunfish says:

        One of the weirdest things about the comic is that it’s meant to be a ‘classy brothel’. What is classy about the way Axis arced up at Rhys? Guess what, you’re a courtesan (whatever that means in this universe), try to be a bit nicer to the guy paying for your time/body even if you think he’s a prick. If you’re a courtesan you wouldn’t just know that a dude gets off on being insulted, so you wouldn’t automatically default to doing that because that is generally rude and makes you a shitty courtesan. If you can’t fathom the UNBELIEVABLE IDEA that one day a man might want to go with you, you are a shit prostitute. And then there’s Rory, who objects to being called girly by his john and instead of rolling with it and keeping his feelings to himself to do his job, he kicks him out. Who does this benefit? Imagine if Reed was offended and took his business elsewhere! Yeah that’d be a real great career move, ‘classy’ guy.

    • wanderingaddict says:

      oh my god wanda “rory thinks he’s gay” immediately followed by “growing up, he’d get boners when he looked at girls”

      THAT IS NOT FUCKING GAY YOU STUPID BITCHES. THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF GAY. OH MY GOD. I talked about bisexual erasure before but this takes the cake. gaaaah hahaha man I need to take a break from the things you and faps have been highlight today!

      wait a minute HOLY FUCK HE TELLS REED THAT HE THINKS HE”S GAY AND REED BELIEVES THE WOMAN THAT THIS GAY MAN SLEPT WITH HER??? WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKK?!?!?! this guy is the nation’s ARMS DEALER???

      Verone is fucked. Verone is teetering on the edge. there is no happily ever after – they’re going to get invaded.

      • Thera says:

        Don’t worry about Verone, that’s not where Teahouse is settled. Verone is instead where Gloria, and her family of what must be undoubtedly badass people who get shit done live.

        And yeah, sadface at bisexual erasure. Like, sexual identity, what’s that? Sex is about teh babies right?

      • I’m still baffled how sex with an enormous intimating, socially crippled, man who doesn’t speak somehow feels right…only after a couple of wordless encounters.

        • Wanda says:

          Because he’s THE ONE. Because FATE. Because IT JUST FEELS RIGHT. Because they were MEANT for each other, and YOU JUST KNOW WHEN IT HAPPENS.

          So many love/relationship bullshit cliches cover up the massive gaps in their “plots”. Who cares if they have anything in common! They’re fated to be together.

      • Wanda says:

        No man who wants to put his dick in a man could ever possibly want the inferior VAGINA afterward. Once you go gay you don’t go back, or something like that. /sarcasm

        Either way, if he’s getting boners for his twin, he probably have more issues than misguided bisexuality.

        Logic never applies in Teahouse if it means MOAR DRAMA. No one can trust anything anyone says or have faith in their loved one. Because TRUE LOVE is constantly fighting and being jealous and blowing things out of proportion. I’m sure their marriage will be a calm and pleasant one. *rolls eyes*

    • In some sextra page Reed monologs and he implies he’s into big muscular dudes like himself. Apparently Reed’s desire for perfect virgins trumps his personal aesthetic tastes…cause yeah.

      I’d like to think that Remy is now having tons of sex with the nuns and its hot and great and everyone is actually happy.

      I didn’t really think about it but you’re right the surrogate is weird….Why not just adopt? There were plenty of abandoned kids…but oh no they could be riff-raff born from INFERIOR genes! We can’t have that!

      • Wanda says:

        Rory has to be his type, because he wouldn’t be paying him to have sex with him otherwise. People hire whores to do things to and for them that they’re ashamed of in their “normal” lives, so I don’t believe for one second Reed’s not just spewing bullshit to fit into the “manly gay likes other manly gays” archetype. God forbid any gay man feel sexually attracted to fem boys. PERISH THE THOUGHT.

        Adopting, to me, is way more adorable than biological children. You’re actually helping children in need have a loving, stable home. Though with these two, I’m sure that’s not the case. The orphans may prefer the orphanage.

  2. Thera says:

    … Can we just go back to pretending Rory has finally snapped due to his relationship with his sister, and that he was romancing a portrait all this time?

    You see, Remy is just trying to get him into a psychiatric institution(which, considering it’s pseudo 19th century would make her evil a plenty) and rory acknowledges this to some level, but he’s too far into his psychosis. He doesn’t work at the teahouse either, but rather lives in the alley right next to it, and gets punched by Axis who was just trying to help the cute redheaded maid to get this weird kid that lives in the alley somewhere else.

    Then, after consulting Lilith, she dyes her hair black, and dresses up like this portrait.(Hence why Rory thinks she got fired), and they finally bring the kid somewhere save.

  3. Sunfish says:

    UNGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

    This comic sucks and when the story is condensed down into summaries like this is makes it REALLY obvious how terrible the writing is. I feel rude for saying it, but how is one of the authors in writing school and still producing this kind of crap? It’s like they decided that ‘making a porno lol!!’ meant that the characters and world didn’t require any kind of internal consistency, or even vague resemblance to actual human emotion and behaviour, and that that was acceptable. It isn’t. It’s been said, but if you just want to write light-hearted cliche-ridden sex scenes that’s cool mate, but don’t try to string them together with a story SET IN A BROTHEL. Come up with some other contrived scenario. Fuck, even a Lost scenario would be better than this! It’s as bad as Starfighter with how little its characters resemble members of their actual professions.

    Rory and Reed are presented as completely incompatible and then jammed together just for the sake of sex, which would be fine given the setting except that the authors can’t help but make them fall in love! What are they bonding over? Reed says that Rory isn’t his type, so while he might put up with him for the sake of sex, why would that develop into anything deeper? Especially because Reed is shown rebuking him multiple times for his (weirdly misplaced) gestures of affection. Why would he care if he hurt Rory’s feelings? THERE IS NO REASON. Instead of getting involved in this stupid brothel drama, he should break contract with this weirdo and this shitty whorehouse and try to find another ‘rare male virgin’ (lol how would anyone know if that was true? There should be loads of ‘professional virgins’ popping up if they’re so rare & desirable). One that IS his type and will accommodate his brusque personality a bit better, because they understand that THEY ARE A PROSTITUTE. There’s no indication whatsoever that what Reed is secretly seeking is a relationship.

    LEAVING OUT ALL THE MISOGYNY BECAUSE WOW I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP why does everyone need to settle down into marriage and kids scenarios? Is that the only life path the authors understand? What the hell would Rory and Reed even talk about for the rest of their lives together? How Reed is a socially-inept arms dealer and Rory is a strangely naive adult BUT NOT GIRLY!!? They have nothing in common whatsoever.

    I can’t believe the authors aren’t teenagers, because their story has the sophistication level of 14-year-olds collaborating on an epic romance fanfiction. I’m glad this comic is dead because it sucks.

    P.S. Did they ever think they were going to reach the end of this comic? Fuckkkk, not in a million years

    • Thera says:

      Come up with some other contrived scenario.

      I think we’ve found our topic for brainstorm sunday :)

    • They really went hard-edge with the stereotypical seme/uke dynamic and hand-wave it as probable because of prostitution. At least in Okane ga nai you can make an argument for Stockholm syndrome here you’ve got nothing other than, “Well they had sex they must fall in love at some point!”

    • Wanda says:

      Unfortunately, studying writing at school does not make you a good writer. As a writing major, I met a few other majors who were just…terrible. I just hope the creators stick to art and leave the plot-creation to someone who has a clue to what they’re doing.

      Oglaf is a comic who manages to create sexy silly pages without being sexist and offensive. No one is a sex slave and no women are shit on in order to levitate the relationships of gay men. Teahouse should have taken notes.

      There is no possible way to explain why Rory and Reed got together outside of SEME+UKE=LOVE. Seriously. I would challenge these authors to write a scene in which Rory and Reed go out on a normal date and have to maintain conversation for two hours. They would have absolutely nothing in common, nothing to talk about.

  4. Alexei says:

    Chibis are creepy in my opinion but yaoi ducks? ಠ_ಠ

  5. cc says:

    I got nothing extra to add but seriously the sharp spike in comparative sexism/bullshit is impressive in the worst way.

    This bodes WELL for the closing act.

    Also I have no idea how sending Remy to a monastery could be enforced or helpful at all. I’m not a scholar in the subject but typically BEING in a monastery is something voluntary because you can’t really FORCE a join-up to commit to a religion and that way of life.

    Well, you could if that is a rule of your universe but typically you could have to YANNO, EXPLORE THAT.

    Also good going Rory you sure took care of your sick mommy didn’t you. Seriously did she die, finally get fully taken care of or what? And I’m amazed no details were disclosed about Rory’s father (or maybe my eyes glazed over from the unholy mess).

    It’s not TERRIBLY important but since so little information is given about Rory and Remy’s family circumstances I feel like that’s an immediate question to be asked since well, how the fuck does one twin sell himself to a whorehouse and the other simply becomes a maid?

    I still can’t wrap my brain around it or HOW Rory even got the job he did.

    • Thera says:

      Actually, especially in the case of noble women, they would be forced into a convent, mostly so that the family didn’t have to pay a dowry. (Well, technically, the money/land went to the convent, but as soon as the lady died, that went back to the family).

      So, I guess the upside is that Remy is now surrounded by a lot of noblewomen who are just as interested in god as she is.

      The real question you wanna ask is ‘this is fantasy land, what the hell do they worship?’

      And I got nothing on Rory beyond, he has a psychosis and is making everything up.

      • cc says:

        Can she still have her noble status if she had a (sexual slavery) contract? Was their family even confirmed to HAVE noble status at all?

        Even disregarding any historical research (lol), doesn’t the enforcement of Remy’s contract pretty much confirm what WE already knew about all the “purchased” contracts in TH?

        It’s not actually freedom it’s the legal right to force someone into doing something? aka lol property and it just reflects even more poorly on Remy/the authors. I can’t FATHOM why she too would sell herself to slavery.

        And it just compounds further how demented everything is (lit. slavery).

        But yes I do agree with the headcannons that it’s a great place where Remy is with other awesome ladies and hopefully worshiping some kind of pro-sex god/dess.

        @what religion
        There was like, one old guy dressed up sorta like some kind of clergy. He looked generically judeo-something or another.

        I have no clue what kind of religion they would even have in this setting since no one gives a fuck or even gives lipservice about it.

        And now now, let’s not be ableist. He’s just a person that makes incredibly poor life choices. Same with the rest of the characters.

        • Thera says:

          Oh, that psychosis comment was more a reflection on the bad writing than anything serious.

          I’ve been in theraphy at a psychiatric institution, so I am aware it’s nothing like real-life psychosis.(For one, there would actually be something interesting happening in the plot if it were)

          But I can’t at all come up with anything to describe the cast. This is beyond bad life choices, they are completely inconsistent, their mind are in a constant quantum state. People in real life can be inconsistent, but that’s more due to failing memory, these guys just reinvent themselves every five minutes.

          And of course, the actual answer is that the writers can’t write for shit, had nothing planned ahead, and have no grasp on the subtle details…

          Hm… How about this: The religion they follow requires everyone in the kingdom to spent one day making really really bad decisions, ’cause chaos, and while most people just get hella drunk, Atros decided to start the teahouse, and got all his workers contracted in one day, because they all decided this was their bad life decision for the year?

          No, remy isn’t a noble as far as I can tell, but I think this is where the teahouse authors got the idea from. The lack of self-awareness in relation to how women were treated at the time is appaling.

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