Pick a Riff

List of all da riffs.  In alphabetical order cause why not?

Fap’s Finished:

Das is Child Wang – From the Comic Verflucht which is dead due to being booted off Smackjeeves for Child Pornography.  It’s about Nazis having sex with slutty 13 year old boys….I’m not kidding.

83 pages

Diddling kids at a Rave - From the webcomic Sublunary about a bunch of gay neon colored super scientists who have sex with each other. Something about a disease and cloning the cure out of some pre-teen’s brain? Meh whatever more sex plz.

325 Pages

Let’s Hateo Kaito Rapeo - From the webcomic Kaito Shuno. We have a suicidal guy’s life changed for the “better” when a Gary-stu, contract-killer, rapist fills his life with possessive control.  But it’s played off like a romantic comedy so that makes it all better!  Really bad art, really bad story, lots of problematic bullshit.

814 Pages

Molest the Monkey.From the manga Sex/Love pistols about abusive furry Mpreg…..again I’m not kidding.

366 Pages

Pika Seems Rude - From the comic Pika Seme Chu about the cast of battle monsters from pokemon being turned into bishies who molest their trainers.

178 pages

Prostitutes r’ Us – From the comic Teahouse which is a soap oprea about a cast of sexual slaves who are not in abusive relationships tied with big pink bows. No sir!

205 pages

~Bonus Round~ Riffs from others here.

Purely Heartless Rape Dance – From the published manga, which has 3 anime seasons, Junjou Romantica aka Pure-hearted Romance. This revolves mostly around an emotionally constipated teenager who is forced to live with a man who rapes and controls him yet it becomes sunshine and bunnies soon after that.

238 pages

Screwed up - From the manga Turn of the Screw. About a guy who kidnaps and rapes the son of his lover and the two fall in love…for some reason.

38 Pages

Sexual Offenders with Fins – From the comic Shark Teeth about a itty bitty prostitute who ends up in an abusive relationship with a street fighter. Also they’re sharks for some reason? (Note: there are more pages available but I ended at 100.)

100 Pages

Star Rapist - From the comic Starfighter about stereotypical yaoi characters raping each other IN SPACE!  It is on-going but I ended the riffs at page 170.

The end of  Butterfly’s wet Dream - From the manga The end of  Butterfly’s dream. It’s about an idiot who tries to get revenge for his parent’s murder but just ends up living with the man he’s trying to get revenge on. Lots of rape and SUPER BAD WRITING!

133 pages

Other’s Finished:

It CAN be helped - From the comic “It can’t be helped.”  It is about a punk high schooler who abuser the ever-living-hell out of his constantly shit on School Nurse.  It might continue updating eventually!

8 pages

Pedur and da wulf – From the comic Peter and the Wolf about a dream wolf who molests a kid in his sleep. This comic is by guest riffer Cheesecake!

217 pages

The Tyrant who fell down (and can’t get back up) -  From the manga The tyrant who fell in love.  It is about a violent homophobe who’s best friend date rapes and blackmails him into sex until he’s all better!  This is done by the wonderful SirSeph. Archive here!

The archive has a total of 140 as of 11/2/13!

.When Angels deserve to die - From the webcomic God’s story.  Ever want to see Jesus raped by a demon, death as a hermaphrodite banging an angel, and Buddah jerking off to 9/11? I bet you didn’t, and that’s why it’s ace riff material!  This is done by the amazing and amusing Skatro!  Archive Here!

Other’s still updating:

None at the moment but you can change that!

 

29 Responses to Pick a Riff

  1. Anonymous says:

    Where is the ‘hetalia is bad and you should feel bad’ article rant? It was interesting… :/

    • I no longer have the patience to deal with the continuous stream of comments I get on it. Sorry.

      • Anonymous says:

        Replace “patience” with “courage” and you have a 100% accurate answer. You’re welcome.

        • cc says:

          I’m not OP but I’m still waiting on any of you to talk about how APH absolutely needed to have personified countries to do its slapstick comedy or how it’s supposed to be a good satire WHILE having NO stakes or relevance to the real world.

          Maybe someday one of you will actually step up to the plate for an actual conversation but in the past, what, 4 years? Most if not of you have just left uncreative insults or edgelord death threats because the santity of your cartoon was threatened or something.

    • Anonymous says:

      Because a satirical harmless CARTOON about personified countries that had NOTHING to do with the real world that we live in offended them really hard right in the ass, boo-fucking-hoo!

      • cc says:

        Anon we’d all LOVE to hear about how a show that uses countries that exist in the real world and refers to historical events that did occur somehow has nothing to do with the real world.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Hello, where can I find an anime about personified countries that teaches actual history? I’m looking for APH (hetalia) alternative. (Remember, 3 key words, 1.ANIME 2.PERSONIFIED 4.COUNTRIES).

    • There is another Japanese comic with personified countries called Afghanis-tan. However it is a manga/webcomic not an anime and it also suffers from the same problems that Hetalia does…perhaps even more so.

      • Anonymous says:

        If Afghanis-tan suffers from the same problems as the other show, why not make a rant about it?

        • cc says:

          I’m not OP, but a difference is that this is primarily a site that criticizes shitty yaoi.

          At the time of the original APH rant (literally years ago) there was rampant if not exclusive shitty yaoi of the countries being produced by the fandom.

          • Anonymous says:

            We meant why not make a rant on Afghanis-tan?

          • Anonymous says:

            “Produced by the fandom”. FANDOM. Then hate the FANS not the show, the show itself didn’t produced itself. You’re such an idiot, cc. Still waiting for you to learn.

          • cc says:

            I’m actually still waiting on anons to figure out that I did not write the rant that the fandom appears to have a bug up their butt over.

            But I’m happy to provide you something you can cling to for discussion’s sake:
            My personal stance on APH is that it is a potato chip anime at BEST. It doesn’t inform, it doesn’t need to invoke history for it’s “comedy” and it’s not even well-written comedy. I also think it paints an incredibly simplistic view of history and doesn’t encourage critical thought or provide tools for anyone to engage in thoughtful discussion or even a healthy exchange of cultures.

            I think its punchlines are uncreative, disposable slapstick. I think its production is cheap and hallow merchandising vehicle that dehumanizes history and countries by assigning them a generic anime face.

            What does APH really want to accomplish? What message is it trying to send if it can’t inform and can’t amuse? It wasn’t a spontaneous creation, so what is its purpose so I can better evaluate it if it is neither a comedy nor educational.

            Now specifically for the special subset of APH fans:
            What makes APH special enough to them that they make their way onto this obscure website/blog that Riffs on Yaoi and are compelled to post anywhere they can about an opinion piece that hasn’t been public for literal years? Who the do you think you are endearing with this behavior? When will you learn that doing this only hurts your own image? What do you think you’re accomplishing with your poor behavior?

    • cc says:

      While there is a lack of anime that does this, do not let it be the only way you learn history, try new things.

      There is a Youtube series called Extra Credits History which teaches History in bit-sized bits that is animated, voiced and has some light humor without devolving into propaganda. Give it a shot.

      • Anonymous says:

        Hetalia has no propaganda, you’re the one who wants it to be just to start drama and get attention.

        • cc says:

          Hetalia is a -show- that fundamentally simplifies historical events and anthropomorphizes countries under the guise of ‘comedy’ and does so with the framework of referring to historical events.

          The propaganda accusation comes from how by simplifying each country into a person it fundamental removes the complexities and involvements in any given historical event.

          Japan has an enduring history of Revision/Imperialism that seeks to undermine/minimize if not ERASE their involvement in WWII as well as the horrors that they inflicted.

          By once again UNDERPLAYING or SIMPLIFYING a component of this in a for-profit media that caters to this, that is what makes it a candidate to be called propaganda.

          If the author sought to educate/entertain, there are other ways to accomplish this. If they wanted a political drama they could have done so without tying it to reality.

          They actively chose not to do this, and as a result I (not OP btw) criticize it as such.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Here’s my reaction after reading that rant:
    Wow… You hate APH because it’s gay? Well fuck you too, homophobic breeder!

    • cc says:

      Anon I don’t think you read any rant.

      • Anonymous says:

        I’ve read it a long time ago and I forgot your site’s name. Now that I’ve found it… That rant was removed, proof of how cowardly you are.

        • The person who runs this website is me, not CC. I’m the cowardly, gay-hating, breeder who’s also probably a dumb, racist, woman-hating, chronic masturbator and any other insult you can think up. Afterall I dislike a thing you like! I’m afraid your vindictive, shallow attempts at trolling will do you no good here.

          • Anonymous says:

            Yes you are a coward for removing that piss-poor rant because in the comments one of the fucking APH haters said that all of its fans deserve to get raped and die, what the actual fuck!? I thought you assholes were against rape/death! And you removed that rant in fear of getting haters not because of impatience (as your reply for the person above.
            But I’m the bad person for defending a poor minority that is being discriminated up to this day by twats like you (yes twats like you who are for some stupid reason keep calling anything they don’t like ‘gay’). ‘Gay’, ‘homo’ and ‘fag/faggot’ are NOT supposed to be insults, get that through your rotten brain. I have a lesbian friend who is currently suffering from severe depression and having suicidal thoughts because of how her sexuality is presented in this shitty society. I’ll make sure she doesn’t stumble upon this bitchy site.
            Yes, “breeder”. When you have the right to call gays ‘fags’ then you heteroscumbags are nothing but a mindless baby-making machine (who will keep overpopulating the earth endlessly and spread more hate with your doomed offsprings.)
            Racism is now long dead. Nowadays even if someone PROUDLY claims to be racists they will NEVER be taken seriously. Also, hating another country is not racism it’s ‘xenophobia’, educate yourself next time. Family Guy and South Park also have racist content that is just as offensive, why not complain about those? Is it because they are innocent wittle angels compared to APH? Also, what about the white fuckers found online who use the word ‘nigga’? And face it, you are a racist person yourself (or secretly want to be one) why? Because there are other hordes of APH haters out there saying that bishies/pretty boys (especially in all Animes in general) are ‘fags’ when they are actually based on real Asian men, Asian men are naturally more effeminate than your precious beefy hunks, so are you guys calling real Asian men ‘fags’!? Another thing, Arabs/Muslims are often stereotyped as bombers/terrorists and you’re not giving a single fuck about them, why? Because only ‘Murica matters, that’s fuckin’ why! When the Danish cartoon depictions of the prophet came out the entire world pissed themselves laughing because it’s “satire” but when Hetalia did it with countries (without mentioning religion) everyone’s delicate butt suddenly needs a lube, fuck your double standards, hypocrites! “WAAAAA! SHITALIA IZ RASIST BECUASE IT HAZ NO BALCK PPL!!!1!!1″ then explain the official artwork and the new animation, genius!
            Ever heard of internalised misogyny? The “I’m not like other girls”? That is also woman-hating, some woman-haters aren’t even APH fans. What made you think I hate women? Because I happen to like a show that doesn’t have enough females in it? If so, then in that logic MLP:FIM (A.K.A. My little POOny:Friendshit is mah dick) is a man-hating show because it doesn’t have enough male characters. They only females I hate are the 13-year-old fanbrats in our fandom (which should be understandable) I don’t hate any of my female friends (otherwise they won’t be my friends), I treat them with utmost respect because I know the difference between fiction and reality, unlike you being offended by a cartoon. As I said earlier I’m standing up for my depressed lesbian friend, yes that definitely makes me a woman-hater! Also, if one fan said she dislikes a CERTAIN female character that doesn’t give you the right to automatically assume that EVERY fan hates EVERY female character! I do have some favorite female characters, actually (yes, more than one character.) You do sound like a human-hater because you think that any FEMALE who watches APH is automatically stupid, (a proof of how dumb YOU are.) Women are getting objectified in media and you’re not complaining about this shit…why!? As a female myself, I’d rather be hated than objectified by pigs. If I were a woman-hater I would’ve hated myself or my female relatives/friends. Bet you’re an innocent vanilla feminist yourself, huh?
            As an asexual I don’t masturbate (MY name is NOT Faps), and I wouldn’t be surprised if you were a chronic fapper, afterall it’s YOUR name and you’ve stated that you do love porn. It’s none of your business as to who masturbates to what, why are you shaming masturbators? Research said it’s healthy. Bronies jack off to cartoon ponies is perfectly fine (bestiality anyone?) so go fap to Rainbow Dash/FlutterShy or whoever the fuck is your favorite pony and go lick Lauren Faust’s ass while you’re at it, but when anime fans jack off to cartoon HUMANS is eww! Once again fuck your double standards and hypocrisy!
            When did I say you must like what I like? Disliking something is one thing but constantly bitching about it and not consider its positive side is just plain ridiculous.
            How was I shallow/vindictive? More shallow/vindictive/miserable/bored than YOU? A pathetic creature attacking a harmless anime (when there are bigger things to worry about)? I don’t think so.
            Also, you know what’s considered vindictive? Hurling a bottle at a certain “bad” singer that offends your wimpy ears.
            You are a bigger troll than me and anyone commenting here; trying too hard to prove that your brain functions while failing at it, and you’re calling ME dumb? Answer me, if I’m dumb then how the hell did I do good in school? I wouldn’t be surprised if you also looked like an actual troll.
            One last thing Encyclopedia Dramatica is even more offensive than any other thing I’ve seen on this entire planet (also claims itself to be “satire” despite being total bullshit), that website is a perfect example of what kind of cesspool that you belong in. But don’t worry! There are plenty of APH haters on that website, since they have an article criticising it. So have fun there circlejerking and fapping to its ads as well!

          • cc says:

            This is the most fascinating and shittiest reaction I have ever seen of a differing opinion, I’ll take a gamble and reply to this even if I’m not OP/Faps:

            1. You’re not defending a single minority by defending APH, it does not contain a single canon gay, lesbian, bi, ace, etc. character.

            2. You’re actually a bad person for being unable to let go of a rant about a piece of fiction that was written YEARS ago. The various insults and accusations you’re throwing at Faps certainly don’t make you a good person either.

            3. Breeder is no where close to the power or foul intent as ‘fag’. You’d be better off just calling Faps any other profanity at this point. Also if Faps hated LGBTA+ media so much, why are they going to a panel to talk about switch couples and recommend healthy-relationship yaoi? Much less actually PURCHASE yaoi manga they like to support the authors?

            4. Racism sure as fuck is not dead in the US much less the rest of the world, DO SOME RESEARCH.

            5. If you could actually read you’d know that the reason why Faps doesn’t talk about Family Guy and South Park is because ARE NOT ANIME/MANGA MUCH LESS YAOI, THAT IS WHY THEY ARE NOT DISCUSSED ON THIS SITE.

            6. Faps is not part of the internet police, believe it or not. APH’s problems are a different set of issues than the fallacies you are listing. (I mean I could ask the same of you but that doesn’t lead to a productive discussion, it’s literally a diversion tactic.)

            7. APH characters are NOT based on real Asian men. They are cartoon characters. ANIME CHARACTERS ARE A COLLECTION OF LINES AND COLORS MADE TO RESEMBLE PEOPLE. To boot, APH are anime-style caricatures of each country.

            8. Where are you pulling the “fag” talk from? It’s been YEARS since I’ve read the rant.

            9. It seems hyperbolic and impossible to expect Faps to address every fucking thing in the world on this here YAOI RIFF SITE.

            10. “New artwork” The rant was literally YEARS AGO! Also to recollection Faps criticized WHITE WASHING and EXCLUSION of certain countries because that was TRUE of the time it was written!

            11. An author’s choice to portray every country as a single person and “by coincidence” all of them were men (at the time of the original rant’s post) IS ill-balanced by it’s nature since the rough half-half of male to female isn’t new or unknown. I beg the question why were they all male but I’ll be honest and say I wouldn’t give a shit because APH doesn’t appeal to me on a base level.

            12. It doesn’t matter TO ME what the sexes of the characters were because they were all just cardboard stereotypes and the jokes fell flat anyway. Now please give me your poorly worded counter of how I’m wrong and then fail to detail your stance like you’ve done thus far for everything.

            13. Why ARE you so offended by a differing opinion on a cartoon?

            14. THIS IS A YAOI SITE, also Faps DOES criticize the objectification of women on the other blog. (This site is actually mostly about criticizing the objectification of homosexual men.) Guess you may want to educate yourself next time or something.

            15. Did MLP or Lauren Faust burn down your house? Also kind of weird to go “there’s no shame” and then use it as an insult in the same poorly formatted paragraph.

            16. You know it’s really weird you say that “disliking is one thing” but then you left this mess here. I’m really noticed a lack of consistency here, or are you more a “do as I say” kind or person? I mean you spent all this time posting here when there are better things to do, so….

            17. I’d call your textwall “petty” TBH.

            18. Get your internet culture straight. Trolling would involve Faps posting this link to APH fansites. Faps posted this OPINION/RANT PIECE on a private blog that doesn’t get a whole lot of traffic and has taken it down. It’s a bit hard to troll when you don’t even have ammo, so please explain how this ‘trolling’ still occurs.

            19. I’d personally take a wager that you do OK at school because you’re still in the grades that value fact regurgitation instead of critical thinking or applying logic. Based on your response I’d actually say you haven’t gotten to the point where you know what fallacies are or how to actually structure your opinion/argument.

            20. I personally think APH sucks because it isn’t impressive to look at in terms of animation or design, it’s not fun or creative because it IS just about things that have already happened, it’s not very funny because the jokes are slapstick or just pointing to history.

            I’d say APH’s greatest crime is that it’s painfully boring at best and erasing the nuances and complexities of history at worst.

          • Anonymous says:

            WAAAAAAAAAH!!! SUM RANDUM ANUN HATES WOMYN BECUASE THEY LIEK SUMTHING I DUN LIEK!!!!!1111111!!!!1!

            Oh for fuck’s sake! Shut the fuck up, BITCH! Get the fuck off of the internet and get back in the kitchen, NOW!

        • cc says:

          “Proof of how cowardly you are” Said the anon poster

          Regardless you didn’t actually read the rant or apparently actually watch the show since Hetalia does NOT contain any LGBTA+ content in terms of what is canonical to its universe.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Seriously, Hetalia has no redeeming qualities? Does it have at least one positive thing?

    • cc says:

      (I’m not OP)

      APH was able to give jobs and pay its animators, I guess?

      APH is an example of a webcomic ‘making it’ to a manga and then an anime.

      The base material itself is hard to congratulate since it draws from events and countries that already exist. The actual ‘comedy’ tends to boil down to slapstick or playing into modern stereotypes.

      I’m not sure what you may be possibly seeking in trying to pry out a positive from people who don’t like APH. Granted I don’t think it’s the absolute scourge of the earth or w/e hyperbole, but it isn’t enriching anything either.

      If I wanted to learn history I’d go read up on it. If I wanted comedy there are better jokes than country stereotypes. If I wanted a war drama I have actually creative fiction to pick from.

  5. Anonymous says:

    These comments are so funny “I’m not OP. Not OP!” We get, cc. You are NOT a faggot.

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